Trust Issues
by EbilMe666
Summary: Fury all but forces the Avengers to live together in Stark tower after it's rebuilt from the New York battle. There's just one problem. None of them trust each other. Tony doesn't even see himself as part of the group. Tony centric. No slash. slight Pepperony and slight Clintasha. Team fic. Rated T for slight language. Set before IM3.
1. Chapter 1

**Another Avengers fanfic huh? This time it has chapters though -insert gasp here-**

**Yeah, I really like these guys especially the science bros. How could you not love the science bros? (Note I say bros not husbands or Stanner, that pairing doesn't work for me)**

**Yups, anyway, lets get started then. I'm not going to post any chapter unless I have the next one at least planned, if not written. (Yes, I'm working on instinct here and not from a plan.) This does mean I am just as exited as you guys hopefully are for the next chapter whenever I get around to writing it (Of course, if this is posted then it's already written but ignore that for now.) I will be updating this weekly as long as everything goes to plan. Sometime on a Monday. Anyway, without further Ado, let's welcome the new story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers in any way, shape or form.**

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><p>"Hold on a second there Fury." Tony said. "Under no circumstances am I allowing two assassins, a god or the fucking super soldier that my dad would never shut up about into my house."<br>"What about Banner?" Fury asked, curious as to why Tony had missed him.  
>"I like Banner." Tony said. "Quite a big fan of the Hulk too."<br>"They're all moving in next month whether you like it or not." Fury told him Tony almost groaned.  
>"Do they have to?" He asked, well aware he was whining.<br>"Yes."  
>"But they hate me." Tony said, "Besides, none of us trust each other."<br>"That's exactly why I want you all to move in with each other." Fury said. "Besides," he added, "The Helicarriers's getting crowded"  
>"So you're passing them down to me?!" Tony asked. "That's just unfair." He said to Fury. "Besides, I'm not even an avenger." Fury raised an eyebrow. "I'm a consultant who you happened to need help from." He was saying it to Fury's back though as the man left Stark tower. He sighed and for some reason found himself looking forward to it but if he wanted everything to be perfect if this was not in fact the horrible nightmare he believed it to be. He'd need to get to work fast.<p>

Tony locked himself in his lab for almost a full week, he had been designing the floors that the Avengers would live on. Stark tower, along with the rest of New York was as good as new so they'd be living there. His and Pepper's floor was already done, as was the basement and the lab. He just had to make some adjustments to a few of the other floors to make them more suitable for each Avenger's personal needs. He wasn't usually one for designing much of the interior of his buildings but with some he did so to add a more personal touch. This was just one of those instances. Not that he didn't enjoy it of course.

Bruce's was calm and tranquil, the edges were rounded and Tony worked on the design for a full 24 hours before he decided it was perfect. Natasha's and Clint's were similar to each other but where Clint had an archery area, Natasha had a shooting range. There was a private staircase between the two floors. Thor's had been interesting to design, he studied a little Norse mythology to try and get it perfect and when he was done it gave off the desired 'royal' effect. Steve's had been the hardest of all. Stark decided to base it off of homes from the 40's, adding a little modern flare here and there, there was also a relatively large art room as he remembered his father telling him how much the Captain had liked to draw in his spare time. The shared floor was quite easy in comparison, he made sure there was a small training area and a small shooting range and a pretty big gym. The living room was big but not hi-tech enough to freak Steve out, the kitchen was similar in it's uncharacteristic design from the futurist. He added a few final touches to it, including plenty of vents and high places for Clint, before looking at all the designs and smiling. He couldn't help but be proud of them, he just hoped he could get them built in the three weeks he had left. He was slightly upset that he hadn't been able to make a private lab for Bruce, he just didn't have enough spare floors. He had to keep the business running after all.

A week before the Avengers were set to move in Tony called in on them and Director Fury. De-suiting in the Helicarrier was strange, he had to do it by hand and then he was never quite sure where it was taken which worried him, he didn't like not knowing where his babies were. "You know." He said, approaching Fury. "A month is hardly enough time to get everything ready so that six extremely different people can live in harmony." He thought for a moment. "Make that eight."  
>"Eight?" Fury asked.<br>"Jarvis and Pepper." Tony said. Fury would have laughed slightly, if he wasn't Fury, at the fact that Tony saw Jarvis as a person.  
>"You will be able to though right?" he asked quickly.<br>"It will be close, I had to make a few adjustments to Bruce's floor when I remembered the possibility of Hulk actually emerging, which I really hope he won't as much as I like the big guy. It's behind schedule but that shouldn't matter, all of their personal floors are done. It's just the shared one left."

Then Natasha entered the room. "Natasha." Tony said in acknowledgement.  
>"Stark." Natasha responded, slightly annoyed that he had used her first name.<br>"Is that all Stark?" Fury asked the man.  
>"Yes, actually." Tony responded. He begun walking through the corridors of the Helicarrier, not quite sure why other than it had been a while since he'd been on the ship. He wondered where his future housemates would be right about now, he was wasting precious time he could have been spending supervising the tower, making sure everything was <em>perfect.<em> After half an hour wandering around on the carrier he called to a random S.H.I.E.L.D. employee, demanding to be taken to his suit. When he got to it he was thankful it was in perfect condition. He put it on quickly, thankful for Jarvis' sudden presence, he never seemed t realize how much he missed him when he was somewhere that Jarvis couldn't go. He walked up to the launch bay for the Quinjets dispatched and flew out, he stalked the ship for a while before realizing he was procrastinating. He headed back to Stark tower even though he was sure Pepper was doing a great job in making sure everything was how Tony wanted it.

When he got back he was relieved to see that nothing had gone wrong and they were still on target. He would have done it all himself if he had the time but just doing the designs was enough for him. He begun to walk around the completed floors, suddenly feeling anxious that they team wouldn't like them. "They'll love them and you know it." Pepper said.  
>"But what if they don't?" He asked, "What if they think I'm being too sensitive?" He said, referring to Bruce's and Steve's rooms and possibly Thor's.<br>"They'll like them Tony, trust me." Tony looked at her before smiling.  
>"Yeah, they'll love them. Nothing to be worried about." he said, realizing he had started to worry her. "I'm going to the lab." He said before disappearing. He emerged from the lab when he heard the news that the main floor was done five days later. He smiled, it truly was perfect. Just how he wanted it. It was simple enough that it didn't look like he had really tried, it took him a long time to perfect that look and man was it worth it. He grabbed a few supplies before going back to the lab. The Avengers were due to arrive in two days and Tony really didn't want to greet them, even after the amount of work he'd put on to make sure they were comfortable.<p>

"Sir." Jarvis said when the Avengers arrived, right on time. "They're here." Tony tensed.  
>"Lock down the workshop, no one is to come in okay J?"<br>"Yes sir." Jarvis said and then Tony tried his hardest not to think about what they thought he was doing they probably thought he forgot. _'good.' _He thought to himself, _'better they think that than know I'm hiding.'  
><em>"I'm gonna need to see them sooner or later aren't I?" He asked after a few minutes of silence.  
>"Yes sir."<br>"Has Pep requested my whereabouts yet?" He asked.  
>"Miss Potts knows you may be anxious of the situation." Jarvis said. "She knows you'll come when you're ready."<br>"And the others?"  
>"They notice your lack of presence sir." Jarvis told him.<br>"Time to make an entrance then.. Let's just hope they don't talk about New York too much and if they bring up the wormhole I'm going to need to leave. Quickly."  
>"Understood sir." Tony put on a fake smile and placed sensor bands around his wrists, just in case. He left the lift and went to the main room, knowing Pepper would take them there first.<p>

Tony entered the room and stepped in place next to Pepper. "Sorry I'm late." He said. "That's not very polite of me, I'll take it from here Pep." He looked around at the small group. "This is the main floor, the one where meetings between all of us will be, the one where the kitchen is," He said, "although there is a smaller one on each of your floors." He added. "There is also a shooting range over there somewhere and a training room next to it." He gestured in the direction. "Moving on, he said, really hoping the tour would end. He went to the lift, followed by the others. It stopped at a floor that was calm. "Dr. Banner." He said, "this is your floor, explore it and feel free to tell Jarvis if you want any changes." He paused for a moment. "I tried to design it as calm as possible." Bruce looked dumbstruck. "Banner." Tony called. "I need to get a move on here, I'm working on something important right now." Bruce nodded and put his bags down, stepping into a room. The next floor was Thor's. "Thor, this is yours. You have no idea how much Norse mythology I had to read till I got it perfect." He looked at the god. "Also, the kitchen cupboards are full of pop tarts and other sweet things I thought you might like."

"Thank you Metal Man."  
>"It's Tony." Tony said as the lift doors shut. "Agent Barton." Tony said, "I wasn't sure what sort of thing you'd like, yours and Agent Romanova's are pretty similar but you have an archery area instead of a shooting range." Clint nodded and Natasha was relieved that Tony hadn't used her real name again.<br>"Thanks."  
>"No problem." Tony said. "Oh, and before I forget, there's a staircase linking your floor to Romanova's next to the training area." Natasha smiled slightly and Clint couldn't help but smile too. The lift door closed and they went down another floor. "Romanova, I'm pretty sure I don't need to explain this after Clint's." Natasha nodded and left the lift with her few belongings. "And lastly, Rogers." Tony said. when the lift doors opened Steve was brought back int the 1940's. "I didn't want to do anything too unfamiliar for you but there are a few modern touches thrown in. There are also a few history books that should give you the basic picture of what you missed. Tell Jarvis if you want any more detailed ones." And then Tony went back to the lift and keyed the special combination that took him to his labworkshop.

He kept himself secluded in there for the best part of the first week. Eventually he had to surface, at least to restock his supplies although he knew he'd probably end up sleeping too. He had hoped it was late at night or early morning so he wouldn't have to run into anyone but he was never that lucky. As it turned out they were waiting for him to make an appearance. He had to walk through the living room to get to the kitchen so avoiding them wasn't an option. "Hey.." He said awkwardly.  
>"Stark." Steve said.<br>"I trust you're all settling in well." Tony said, knowing he'd actually have to talk to them. But then he could always collapse from exhaustion instead. "J, how long has it been now?" He asked suddenly as the thought came to him. Jarvis knew what the question was.  
>"Five days sir." The AI responded. Tony nodded. He was never normally awake for that long, usually giving into sleep after three or occasionally four.<br>"Right.." He said slowly, looking around the room at the heroes.  
>"Five days since what?" Bruce asked.<br>"That." Tony said, snapping his head to face Bruce. "Is none of your business." He sighed. "I'm gonna need to go now though." He turned to the lift, and begun walking towards it, he'd restock when he woke up.  
>"No." Natasha said firmly. "You're not going anywhere." Tony turned, a slightly annoyed expression on his face.<br>"And you're gonna keep me here are you?" He asked.  
>"As a matter of fact, yes." She said.<br>"I haven't got time for this." Tony said, he was working on a set of upgrades to the Iron Man suit and really wanted to get them done before the next mission. He also needed to take time out to sleep as if he didn't do that soon he knew he would collapse.

Pepper walked into the room and saw Tony, to everyone else he just looked like Tony but she could tell he hadn't had sleep for longer than usual. "Jarvis." She said.  
>"Yes Miss Potts?" He asked.<br>"How long has it been since he.." She asked, letting the question trail off.  
>"Five days." Jarvis said. "I strongly suggest you take him to his room." He added.<br>"I was planning to." She told the AI. "Sorry but I need to steal Tony for a moment." She told the Avengers. She walked to where Tony was glaring at her and grabbed his arm. The pair disappeared into the lift.

"Anyone have a clue what five days means?" Clint asked.  
>"Jarvis?" Natasha asked.<br>"Yes Agent Romanova?" The AI responded.  
>"What had been five days?" She asked.<br>"Sir doesn't like me sharing that sort of information with you." Jarvis said.  
>"No help there then." Steve said.<br>"No." Bruce said. "No." He said again, more firmly. "That means it's about his personal matters."  
>"How'd you get that?" Steve asked.<br>"Well, if Jarvis isn't allowed to share it it must be something like that." He said. "Stark wouldn't make Jarvis wouldn't keep information about something trivial."  
>"So what is it?" Natasha asked.<br>"I'm not sure." Bruce said. "It could be how long since he ate or slept or anything else like that."  
>"Right." Natasha said. "So he probably has little to no sense of self preservation then." She had meant it as a joke but they all suspected it was true.<p>

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><p><strong>Ebil here, hey guys!<strong>

**I hope you liked that and I know this sounds needy and stuff but it really helps my motivation when you guys review my stories. What do you to five as a ransom for the next chapter? Is that mean? It's probably mean holding chapters ransom and I haven't done it before but I really need to know that people like this one before I continue it, I couldn't stand it if it didn't get any love at all.**

**So yeah, 5 reviews okay?! I know you guys can do it!**

**Please don't hesitate to suggest things, I love suggestions!**

_**Till next time!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! 9 reviews, 14 favs and 35 alerts! You guys are amazing!**

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><p>Tony didn't want to go to sleep, not because he believed he didn't need it, he really did. When he was tired his work would begin to take longer and his hands would grow unsteady. He didn't want to go to sleep because of the nightmares that never failed to accompany it. Pepper knew about them but none of the others did.<p>

Despite his mind not wanting sleep his body obviously did as he was asleep almost as soon as, probably even before, his head hit the pillow. Pepper watched him for the first few minutes, trying to think about why she put up with him. She asked herself it a lot and the truth was it was because he was selfless and somehow she knew that whoever was hiding underneath was kind and caring and... fragile. Sure, Tony might have a brilliant mind and a suit of iron but that didn't mean he wasn't human. After ten minutes she left, not wanting to see the nightmares that would begin to show up in a few hours. She really hoped he got enough sleep before then.

When he eventually woke up, not because of a nightmare for once, he went down the stairs instead of the lift and arrived at the Avengers' floor. They were all waiting for him. "Hey." He said cautiously, with an edge of tiredness to his voice. "What's up?"  
>"Stark." Clint begun before he was interrupted by Steve.<br>"Stark, we're here to develop trust." The super soldier said. "We can't do that if you avoid us." Tony sighed, he knew that he was going to have to have this conversation sooner or later.  
>"Ah." He said. "You seem to be mistaken on a couple of facts there Captain."<br>"Enlighten me." Steve said deadpanned.  
>"Okay." Tony retorted. "First. I am not an Avenger, I'm a consultant who was only called in because you <em>needed <em>me. Second. I really don't want to get to know any of you." He looked at them, his gaze finally settling on Bruce. "Save Banner." He added, causing the doctor to smile. "And third, I have some really important projects I should be working on right now." He looked to Banner again. "Lab's the secret level under the basement, ask Jarvis in the lift and he'll take you there.  
>"Thanks." Bruce said.<br>"I'm guessing that one of those 'projects' is your suit." Steve said.  
>"As a matter of fact, yes." Tony said. "Mark IX in fact." He said 'IX' as 'nine' although he tried to imply the roman numerals.<p>

"For someone so set on not being an Avenger you seem to work on those suits a lot." Steve said. Tony had been expecting it.  
>"I like being prepared." He said. "Besides, with a mind like mine you need something to pass the time with." He looked at Steve for a moment, knowing the next thing he said would cause a fist fight. It would be so worth it though. "Not like you'd understand though Capsicle." He looked at the Captain, amused by the angry expression on his face. It was going to be so worth it. He wouldn't bother fighting back if it came to that, Steve would beat him without the suit and with it Tony knew he would have an unfair advantage. No. He'd use his mouth as his weapon of choice thank you very much. "Aww." He said after a minute or two. "Did I make the Captain angry?" He knew that this would just end badly for him but he had to finish what he started. "Can't say I wasn't trying though." He smirked. The punch that hit him was an uppercut, seriously hurting Tony's jaw. He placed a hand on it tentatively. He moved it around a little, checking it still worked. When he was satisfied he began to open his mouth.<br>"You say one more thing and I will stop holding back." Steve said.  
>"Oh, please, don't hold back." Tony found himself saying. "The fact I am shouldn't sway your opinion much." He closed his eyes for a moment. "Y'know Capsicle." He begun. "For a man who I've heard so much <em>good <em>about, you aren't making the best of impressions." In truth, it was nice for Tony to find that Steve _wasn't _the perfect citizen he'd heard so much about.  
>"I'm not trying to impress you Stark." Steve said. "I can't believe that the son of one of my best friends turned out to be.." He paused for a moment. "You." He said. Tony frowned. He hated Howard being brought up but wouldn't let any of them see that. As much as he wanted to annoy Steve he really didn't want to let the man know how much of a dick Howard truly was.<br>"Touche Captain." He said before turning and walking calmly to the lift. It was getting progressively harder to speak and he didn't want to talk more than necessary. "Touche." He said again, much quieter, the decision not to tarnish any of Steve's memories with Howard secured. Then the lift arrived and he got in it. He took it all the way down to his lab before he set to work on his wound. He had come to the conclusion that his jaw was just bruised, nothing he hadn't been expecting then. He also came to the conclusion that if he spent enough time around him he could see himself growing to like Steve.

"Umm.. Rogers." Bruce said, unsure of his voice. "You do realize that the possibility of him ever trusting us just dropped drastically right?" Oh, if only he knew that it was quite the opposite, Tony found it easier to get along with people who weren't perfect.  
>"Maybe." The Captain responded. "It's just, he's nothing like how I had hoped Howard's son would be."<br>"Maybe you should stop seeing him as Howard's son." Natasha offered. "Maybe you should just see him as Tony." Steve looked slightly taken aback.  
>"Did any of you see him tense slightly when Howard's name was mentioned though?" Clint asked.<br>"Yeah, I saw that." Bruce said. "I'm gonna go and check he's okay." He added, heading to the lift.

"Sir." Jarvis said. "Doctor Banner is requesting permission to come to this level."  
>"Let him in J." Tony said. He didn't have any work out but had plans on a few things for SI, something, besides Iron Man, he did when he had nothing else to do and he didn't really feel in the mood for Iron Man upgrades.<br>"Yes sir." Jarvis said. Then the lift arrived and Bruce got out. He seemed curious of the lab, it was more up to date than any of the ones he'd been able to work in for a while. "Banner." Tony said. Not bothering to turn and face the man. He needed to sort out the bruise that was going to start appearing on his face first.  
>"Stark." Bruce said back. Tony reached for the make-up that was on his desk, one of his own making, it hid virtually any blemishes, scars or cuts.<br>"Feel free to-" He started applying the make up to his face. "Ow." He said quietly, interrupting his own sentence as he poked a little too hard. "Look around." He finished. When he turned to Banner there was no evidence that his jaw hurt like hell. Bruce seemed to have noticed.  
>"Where did all the.." He let the question trail off and gestured to his own face.<br>"I'm not even going to pretend it doesn't hurt." Tony said.  
>Bruce nodded. The two of them had a relatively fun afternoon and evening in the lab, bouncing ideas off each other, when Tony's jaw wasn't preventing his speech, as they worked on separate projects.<p>

It only ended because of the fact that Tony realized the time. "Shit." He said.  
>"What?" Bruce asked.<br>"It's like two AM." Tony told him. "Way past your bedtime."  
>"I'm not going if you're not going." Bruce said.<br>"That's not an option right now." Tony told him. "I'm so close to finishing this code." He had been working on improving the part of security that Jarvis didn't control in the tower. He didn't mention the fact that unless he worked himself into a state of pure exhaustion he would have nightmares.  
>"Then I guess you're stuck with me.""<br>"Bruce." Tony said. "You shouldn't do this..." He sighed when he saw the doctor's expression. "Jarvis, tell him."  
>"Sir is right." Jarvis said. "If you stay up you'll collapse at roughly 17:43."<br>"See!" Tony said. "You need your beauty sleep Bruce."  
>"What about you?" Bruce asked before it clicked. Five days. Five fucking days. It was how long the bastard had gone with no sleep. "Oh." Was all he found himself saying.<br>"Yeah," Tony said. "Oh." With that he ushered Bruce to his floor.

When he was sure that Bruce, and everyone else, was asleep he returned to the lab and washed off the make-up, he had had to use a remover that he had designed too. He assessed the bruise, deciding it would take at least a week to be fully gone. That was okay though, he could hide it from them for that long. He didn't bother to replace the make up and went back to his work on the code. He had to smooth out any errors before he installed it in the security system for the tower. It had a hidden purpose too which was to just generally make Jarvis more aware of human emotions so that he could respond to them with the right tone of voice. Tony smiled. He always liked making Jarvis seem more human. It made him less ashamed that he was the only real friend he had. The robots didn't count and he wasn't sure he could trust Bruce, the last time he trusted a human he was betrayed.

The morning light started to flicker in through the artificial windows. They showed Tony the view from the ones at the top floor of Stark tower, although he would sometimes change it to Malibu. A few hours later the code was complete.  
>"Sir." Jarvis said. "Doctor Banner is-"<br>"Requesting permission I get it J." He sighed. "Tell him to wait a few moments."  
>"Yes sir."<br>"Good boy." Tony said as he begun applying the make-up. "This new code will give you a little more control over this area too." He placed the last little bit of make-up on his face. "You exited?"  
>"Of course." The AI responded eagerly. Tony could somehow tell that Jarvis was genuinely exited.<br>"I thought so." He looked straight at one of the hidden cameras "How do I look?"  
>"Like nothing ever happened sir." Jarvis said, there was possibly a hint of sadness but Tony ignored it, he'd let himself think it was his imagination.<br>"Perfect." Tony said as he plastered on the smile that naturally came to his lips, the fake and seemingly genuine one, hopefully not something he'd have to do often around Bruce. "Let him down."

Almost as soon as Tony had finished speaking the lift arrived. "Bruce." Tony said in acknowledgement.  
>"Tony." Bruce said, he noticed the distinct lack of marks on Tony's face but decided not to mention it. "How's the code?" He asked instead. When he did he saw a flash of <em>something <em>in Tony's eyes, they just seemed to get brighter somehow.  
>"It's completed." Tony said. "Just finished it actually." The smile on his face seemed to lessen but Bruce could tell that it was just becoming more genuine. "About to install it. Isn't that right J?"<br>"Yes sir." Jarvis said. "I've checked it for all possible flaws and detected none." Bruce smiled, glad that he'd be there for a big update to the security, he'd already learnt those were rare, Tony preferred not to update it if he could get away with it.  
>"Right." Tony said. "Installing the code now." He said, hunched over one of his computers. "Keep talking to me Jarvis babe, I need to be able to tell if there's a mistake with your core."<br>"Yes sir." Jarvis said before starting to talk to Bruce and Tony about things that Tony would only occasionally pay attention to. After a little while Tony started to pay his full attention.  
>"J, baby, do you have the control we spoke about?" He asked suddenly.<br>"I do sir." Jarvis said. Tony breathed a sigh of relief.  
>"How are you feeling man?" He asked.<br>"I am fine sir." Jarvis said. Tony smiled, a proper and genuine smile, not one he normally shared with another human present.  
>"And that." Tony told Bruce. "Is how you update a system."<p>

He and Bruce went back to work, Bruce working on whatever Bruce worked on in the lab and Tony going back to Mark IX. Bruce soon learnt that Tony would bounce ideas off Jarvis as well as him, most of the time genuinely considering what the AI said and more often than not Jarvis' input would go onto the plans. After a few hours Tony decided Bruce had spent enough time in the lab.

"I appreciate your company, I really do." He said. "But I feel your team is missing you." He said. Bruce looked at him confused.  
>"They can live without me." Bruce said.<br>"Maybe." Tony admitted. "But again, I'm just a consultant."  
>"No." Bruce said. "Not to me at least." Tony raised an eyebrow. "You're a friend Tony." Bruce caught Tony off guard.<br>"Still, I think you should go to your team." Tony insisted.  
>"I don't want to." Bruce said.<br>"Fine." Tony said. "But when they come looking don't blame me okay?" He said.  
>"Okay." Bruce said before going back to work.<p>

Around an hour later Jarvis began to talk loud enough so Bruce could hear him too. "The Avengers are inquiring as to Doctor Banner's whereabouts." He said. Tony smirked.  
>"How long did it take?" Tony asked.<br>"Approximately 53 minutes sir." Jarvis told him.  
>"I'm surprised." Tony said. "It shouldn't have taken them that long." Tony looked at a camera. "Right, send them down. Don't let them in past the first room." Tony really didn't like people seeing his unfinished work and the first room was like a foyer, with actual walls instead of glass ones. Unless Thor got impatient then they wouldn't break any time soon. "Sorry kiddo." He said to Bruce. "Looks like your parents have come to 'collect' you." He replaced his smile with a fake, more typical <em>Tony Stark <em>one before starting to walk towards it.

He and Bruce walked through the large lab till they got to that one room. The one attached to the lift. Tony opened the door and let Bruce walk through first before following. He nodded at them and they looked at him confused.  
>"What happened to your face?" Clint asked.<br>"What can I say? I don't bruise easily." He said. "I take it you want your resident scientist back."  
>"That would be correct Metal Man."<br>"Thor, it's Tony without the armor." Tony informed him, knowing it would go ignored.  
>"If you hate us so much Stark," Tony found it unsurprising to see this coming from Steve. "Why did you let us in?"<br>"A few reasons." Tony admitted. "One, I was sorta forced and two, I'm a philanthropist." He looked at them. "As long as you're helping people you can stay." With that he turned and went back into the glass walls of his lab.

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><p><strong>What do you think? I'd love to know!<strong>

**Again, 5 reviews for the next chapter but considering how well chapter 1 went I don't think that will be a problem.**

**Thank's so much for reading!**

**_Ebil_**


	3. Chapter 3

**Again, the last chapter was met with an _amazing _response! I just- I don't know how you guys do it. Your responses are what motivates me to continue writing!**

**This chapter is dedicated to my 10th reviewer! (Who was also my 8th reviewer and the first reviewer for the last chapter!)**

**_Fullmetalsoul0062_ - This is for you! Thank you so much for reviewing!**

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><p>"What happened to his face?" Clint asked again once they were all in the living room.<br>"I'm not sure." Bruce told them.  
>"Are we sure he doesn't have super healing, like me?" Steve asked, almost hopeful, he deeply regretted what had happened the previous day but wasn't going to bring it up if Tony didn't.<br>"No." Bruce said, "Tony's only human."  
>"Maybe he found a way to hide it <em>really<em> well." Clint suggested.  
>"You might actually be on to something there Clint." Natasha said. "But how would he be able to do that in such short a space of time?" She asked, already trying to figure it out.<br>"Don't ask me." Bruce said, "I'm not the genius." With that the subject was dropped.

"Why did you need me?" Bruce suddenly found himself asking after getting no reason.  
>"Oh yeah." Clint said. "We need your help doc, or more, we need the Hulk's help."<br>"What with?" Bruce asked suspiciously.  
>"Fury wants us, the Avengers, to go on another mission." Steve said. "Something about an escort." Well, that explains why they weren't panicking and rushing to save the world.<br>"What about Tony?" Bruce asked, he had grown to like the guy and he was pretty sure 'the other guy' had too.  
>"He made himself clear, both to Fury and to us." Steve started. "He's just a consultant."<br>"He's the sharpest mind I know." Bruce said, his anger rising. "How the hell is he just a consultant?!"  
>"His personality doesn't suit the Avengers." Steve said. "According to a certain spy's report." Natasha glared at him. She was beginning to regret that report. Tony had been dying at the time. Of course he was going to be even more erratic and impulsive than usual.<br>"He flew a damn Nuke into a vortex he may not have even returned from, his efforts nearly killed him anyway, how is that not Avenger material?!" Bruce's voice was getting progressively louder and all eyes were on him, no one noticed the shrill ding from the elevator or saw as Tony ran out to try and comfort his friend until they couldn't stop him. Not that they'd have been able to even if they had tried.

Bruce could feel it. He could feel the Hulk making himself seen and was doing all he could to stop it when suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder and a familiar faint blue light. "It's okay." He heard Tony say calmly. "As much as I love both you and the green guy I'd prefer it if you didn't destroy my tower for a second time. 'Kay?" He asked. Bruce felt it as the green began to leave his body and slowly he faded back to his usual complexion. His eyes gradually faded from the Hulk's bright green to Banner's hazelnut brown. "See." Stark said matter-of-factly. "I told you it was okay." Bruce found himself smiling. No one had ever even dared to go that close to him when he'd been turning before and he knew 'the other guy' liked Tony quite a lot in order for him to stop just like that.  
>"I'm sorry." He said. "I was just so angry an-"<br>"Shush." Tony said soothingly. "You didn't turn and my tower is in one piece." He smiled at Bruce. "That's a win-win right?"  
>"Right." Bruce said shakily. Tony helped Bruce to his feet and took him to his floor to relax for a bit. He then returned to the Avengers' floor.<p>

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" He asked angrily. The question was addressed to Steve more than anyone else.  
>"Were you spying on us?!" Steve asked in retaliation.<br>"As a matter of fact, no." Tony responded. "Jarvis alerted me of the situation." He breathed in deeply. "And woah are you lucky he did."  
>"You mean you're lucky, it would have been your tower that got destroyed!" Steve snapped back.<br>"Towers can be rebuilt." Tony said, calming down slightly but still obviously angry. "If you had made him turn I would never have forgiven you." Even Steve was taken aback by this. It was Tony Stark. He didn't care about anyone but himself and yet here he was, being protective of Bruce, possibly even over protective. He walked past the speechless team and made his way to his lab muttering something about ignorant assholes.

As soon as he was in the lab he felt himself calm down, which was good. He found himself begin to wonder about the mission the team was on while he worked on Mark IX. Mark IX was going to be a fast suit. It would also be agile and a lot easier to maneuver while still being powerful. Mark VIII was the 'stealth suit'. It's main feature was that it was the first of the suits that could turn invisible, a feature he was leaving out for IX. While not being as slim and stream lined as Mark IX it was pretty fun to use, even if Tony knew he wouldn't get the chance to use it too often. Mark VII was the one he was currently using and the one he knew he'd continue to use most often. It had lot more force to the beams and better missiles than most of the others. It was the one he was most comfortable using and the one that the sensor bands were configured to.

Soon he forgot all about the mission and the team and was completely focused on his work. The holograms that he was using were complicated and would have been confusing to most people, to him they were almost second nature.

When Bruce finally returned to the lab Tony didn't make any move to acknowledge him, the music was up too high for him to hear any noises outside of his work and it was just how he liked it. Bruce silently went back to the work he was doing, the music gave him a headache but he could cope with it. After a little while he began to hear Tony mutter.  
>"No, no, no. It's not right J!" He said. Jarvis lowered the volume of the music.<br>"What's not right sir?" The AI asked.  
>"Everything." Tony said. He moved his hands, doing something with the hologram although when it came to those Bruce wasn't ever sure about what was going on. "Got any ideas J?" He asked.<br>"Might I suggest sir," Jarvis began. "That you add more power to the stabilizers and remove a few missiles?"  
>"But it has so few missiles already." Tony pouted at the nearest camera.<br>"It was just a suggestion sir." Jarvis said.  
>"Yeah but we all know how good your suggestions are." He said, smiling. He altered a few things on the hologram before suddenly stopping. "Lower the music volume J." Tony said. The music's volume lessened considerably. He did a few more things to the holograms. "Y'know Bruce, I love being watched while I work and all but this isn't really on the 'successful' side so I'd prefer it if you stopped." He turned to face the doctor sometime during the sentence.<br>"Erm." Bruce said. "Sorry." He then went back to whatever it was he was working on, Tony didn't care to ask and Bruce didn't feel the need to tell him.

Tony just couldn't get into his groove, everything he did was either wrong or good but was wouldn't actually work. "Jarvis, bin these." He said after a while, "I'll re-do them later." He started to walk to another part of the lab/workshop.  
>"Yes sir." Jarvis said, in a way that meant he'd save them for later, causing Tony to smile.<br>"Brucey." He called, sitting on the sofa in the small part of the floor that acted as a kitchen/living room.  
>"Yeah Tony?" The doctor asked from a lab.<br>"How'd the mission go?"  
>"It was okay, it turned out I wasn't actually needed." Bruce said. The mission had been really boring. It was literally just taking some guy to another guy and making sure that the data the first guy was carrying didn't get damaged. The Avengers were only doing it because Fury's team of high school students were busy. Tony nodded as he made himself a coffee. "Fury was upset by your absence." Bruce said as he began to walk towards the room. "Said something about you being the only damn reason the team exists or something." Tony found himself laughing.<br>"I've made myself pretty clear." Tony said. "I am not and don't even want to be an Avenger." He lied. He wanted it more than almost anything but he wasn't going to let Bruce know that. "And besides, the team does fine without me."  
>"I dunno, I'm pretty sure we'd be nothing without you." Bruce said, he knew that he was only there because of Tony, he didn't care very much for the rest of them and nor did big green. Tony smirked. "Fury wants you at the Avengers' meeting next month." Tony frowned.<br>"Consulting business right?" He asked.  
>"I have no idea Tony." Came Bruce's honest response.<p>

* * *

><p>The meeting rolled around sooner than Tony would have liked. He hadn't been to a formal SHIELD meeting before and couldn't say if he was at all pleased with the fact he was finally invited to one. He arrived in the suit after after everyone else was already there. "Where the hell have you been?!" Steve snapped.<br>"Sorry, I had to take care of some stuff." He replied. He stayed in the suit for the whole meeting, which was way too boring. He decided that next time he'd tamper with the music. Something that surprised everyone was how quiet Tony was being although no-one really complained. In the meeting it was decided that Tony would have no missions that month unless something big came up or unless one of the others requested his help. So nothing actually changed for him. When the meeting was over he had to leave straight away for SI business and another meeting he that he was going to like even less. This meant he missed a training session, not like he actually cared about that but it might have been fun.

After the second meeting he returned to Stark tower where he just collapsed on a sofa in the Avengers' living room that only had Steve and him in it. He was remembering why he would always skip the meetings and send Pepper to them instead. He started to loosen his tie with one hand while he put the other to his forehead, trying to ignore the constant headache that stemmed from both stress and tiredness and possibly caffeine withdrawal.  
>"Stark." Steve said. "If you're tired why don't you just go to bed?" Tony looked up. Is that- was that worry in the Captain's voice?! He almost laughed. Almost.<br>"That's not the best of ideas Cap." Tony said, thinking back to the nightmares. "But nice try." He smirked. He would have to find something to occupy his mind soon though.  
>"And why is that?" Steve asked. Oh, great, now Steve was tying to get to the root of the problem. Just pick a side already, either he hates Tony or he likes Tony, he can't do both at once.<br>"Too much work to do." Tony said as he got up. It wasn't a lie, he did have an awful lot of work on his to do list. He begun to walk to the elevator that Jarvis had already called up.  
>"Stark, wait." Steve called. Tony turned his head to face him, almost expecting an apology. "I- It's nothing" He said, turning his head away. Wow, Steve was so unsure of himself he couldn't even apologize. Tony said nothing and walked into the elevator.<p>

* * *

><p>The next day was the first time Bruce found Tony passed out on the floor in the workshop part of the lab. He had been called down by Jarvis since Pepper was out and had no idea what to do. He started by half carrying, half dragging the man to the living area and, with no help from the bots, he eventually succeeded. "Does this happen often Jarvis?" He found himself asking.<br>"More so than I'd like." The AI responded. Bruce nodded and frowned. He sighed and began making himself a coffee.  
>"How long is he usually out for?" Bruce asked.<br>"Sir is usually asleep for six hours." Jarvis told Bruce who's frown deepened.  
>"And how long is he awake?" Bruce asked. "On average." He added.<br>"Roughly seventy-four hours at a time." Jarvis said, a sad tone to his voice.  
>"And only six hours sleep!?" Banner asked. "That's not healthy!" He said. He hesitated a moment before he opened his mouth again. "Why?"<br>"Sir would prefer it if I didn't share that information." Jarvis said sadly. Bruce nodded that meant that there was actually a reason to Tony's behavior. He continued to talk with Jarvis while he worked, realizing the AI enjoyed the company and it was nice to talk to someone who understood exactly what you were talking about.

"How long was I asleep?" Tony asked, rubbing his eyes. He was surprised that he wasn't collapsed on the floor in workshop but on the sofa instead.  
>"six hours and forty-five minutes sir." Jarvis said. Tony nodded and noticed that Bruce was in the lab. That at least explained why he wasn't on the floor.<br>"You should go back to sleep Tony." Bruce said from the lab, Jarvis making it possible for Tony to hear him.  
>"Nope." Tony said as he got up to make himself a coffee. "Why do you all want me to sleep so much anyway?!" He asked. It was beginning to get annoying.<br>"Because six hours in three days isn't healthy." Bruce said.  
>"How do you- Jarvis." Tony said.<br>"Yes, I told him sir." Jarvis said. "But only because I was worried about you." The AI somehow managed to convey worry in his voice. Tony sighed.

"J, bring up the holos of Mark IX please." He said when he got back to the workshop. The AI did so and Tony looked at them for a while, not actually making any changes. "Put it next to Mark VIII." He said. Jarvis did and Tony nodded to himself. He played with both holograms for a little bit, not changing anything on Mark VIII but changing a few things on IX, before telling Jarvis to put both of them away and working on finishing Mark VIII for three hours.

He made himself another coffee once he was done.

"Bruce." he called.  
>"Yeah Tony?" Bruce asked, looking up from his work.<br>"I'm going up for a minute, see who's in." Tony said. "You okay down here by yourself?"  
>"Yeah." Bruce said. Tony nodded and smiled. Bruce watched Tony get into the lift. He was slightly curious as to why exactly the man hadn't just asked Jarvis but he didn't dwell on it for long.<p>

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><p><strong>Hope you liked that chapter!<strong>

**I finished editing it at about 2am today so that's fun. No. Scratch that. It's like 9:30am now (I'm posting this at about 10:10am just so you know how close I'm cutting it.) and I just edited it again. It's been one of _those_ chapters.**

**Please review, as usual, 5 for the next chapter. That shouldn't be a problem though because you guys are awesome. I'm going to stop reminding you that you need 5 after this because I'm pretty sure you can make it each time. :)**

**Chapter 4 is proving difficult but will end up being pretty angsty if I continue with it the way I am so that's something to look forward to! (If you like angst that is.)**

**Anyway, thanks so much for reading!**

_**Ebil**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**WARNING: Chapter contains references to; failed suicide attempts, suicidal thoughts and PTSD.**_

****This chapter was murder to write so I dragged it out and made it like 900 words longer than I had aimed for... What I'm trying to say is that this chapter is extra long. So that's awesome.****

****I swear though, it was probably the hardest 3, 400 - give or take - words I've ever written and took about two weeks to have fully done and edited and even now I'm unsure if I should be posting it but the response to the last one was, as always, amazing!****

****This is dedicated to my 20th reviewer! - A guest reviewer actually so that's fun.****

_****dasserk****_**** - This is for you! I hope you like it. This chapter delves into the many problems of Tony a little more so I hope you enjoy it!****

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><p>Tony wasn't surprised when he ran into Steve on the Avengers' floor. He began to wonder if the man ever left the tower. "Rogers?" He asked, still not comfortable calling Steve Steve.<br>"What is it Stark?" Steve asked, his voice annoyingly emotionless.  
>"Do you, y'know, ever actually leave this tower?" Tony asked. "Except for missions?" He added.<br>"Yeah, I do." Steve said, a little hostility in his voice.  
>"Really?! I find that pretty hard to believe." Tony said, he sat on the sofa and took out his phone.<br>"I go out every morning." Steve said. Tony nodded, he suspected Steve probably went for a run.  
>"Okay.. Wrong question." Tony said. "Do you have a life outside of the tower?" He asked instead, it would either be met with a serious answer or Steve telling him to go away.<br>"Stark," Steve said, Tony saw the most likely situation would be for him to tell him to 'stay out of his life' or something along those lines. "My social life is none of your business." Steve snapped. "Now why don't go go back to playing with your 'toys'?" Tony wasn't sure if he was referring to his phone, the suits or the bots.  
>"They're not toys. They're-" Tony started, tying to explain that the suits and the bots were a lot more to him than simple playthings and what he did on his phone was vital for the company.<br>"They're things you're constantly playing with. Sound like toys to me Stark." Steve said. "You put your father's name to shame." He added as a hiss-like whisper. Tony was pretty sure that Steve didn't think he'd heard.

Tony was speechless, he hadn't expected Steve to bring Howard up again. Had Pepper really not brought up the never-mention-Howard-in-front-of-Tony thing yet? He supposed he was going to have to get used to it until she did. He left Steve alone which the guy actually seemed to like. Was Steve fucking proud of himself? Proud that he'd managed to drive Tony away?

Tony went to his and Pepper's floor. He sighed, sat on the bed and ran a hand through his hair. He had gone to the Avenger's floor to see who was in when he could have just asked Jarvis. In fact, asking Jarvis would have been the smart thing to do. No matter, he'd do that next time. He wondered a little about what he was to the team trying to take his mind off of Howard. To Bruce he was a friend. To Natasha he was untrustworthy and everything else she'd put on that report, he was pretty sure Clint would share her views. To Thor he was the 'Metal Man' and an ally that the god seemed to trust. And lastly Steve. To Steve he was Howard's son. The jerk, the drunk and the disappointment. He sighed. Yet again Howard was brought up, this time in his thoughts though.

He wondered how many of them he could learn to trust. Bruce and Hulk were a given, he knew he'd trust them soon, the same went for Thor. Clint seemed like a pretty cool guy but Tony couldn't overlook the fact that he was a spy, trusting him would be harder but not impossible. Natasha had been hired to spy on him, and had written a pretty bad report about him afterwards, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to trust her. That left Steve, he _wanted_ to trust Steve but couldn't see that happening, not while the guy kept bringing up his father at least. Trusting the team would take time but it could happen.

He wasn't actually on the team though. He wasn't an Avenger and he'd made that quite clear. He was a consultant. If he thought about it he knew he'd turn down an offer to become an actual Avenger. Not because he wouldn't want to be one but because he knew that if and when that offer came he would already be seen as an Avenger to the team and the rest of the world. At that point it would be much more beneficial for him not to be an Avenger, that way he'd at least have the option of refusing an Assemble call. It would be nice to at least be offered the job though, to be told that he really was wanted.

He knew he wasn't going to like the missions when he eventually got some though, but then, who would like missions like the ones he and the Avengers would eventually get? He wanted to help people and so far all he'd really done was get rid of all the SI weaponry he knew of and fight some people. He had also helped to save the world but that didn't seem to matter too much any more.

But then there was the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. If he had a panic attack on a mission it could go wrong. Very wrong. But he couldn't tell them. He couldn't tell anyone. If they found out he'd be off the team, which he wasn't technically on, for sure. He knew he'd slip up eventually and get reduced to just a civilian or stay as a consultant but be forbidden to act as Iron Man, he just hoped it wouldn't be for a while.

Pepper knew, sort of. She knew about the symptoms but he wasn't sure if she'd linked it to PTSD. He knew that she, and SHIELD most likely, suspected he had PTSD following Afghanistan, which he did, but they suspected nothing about the Wormhole. Now he just had more triggers and more nightmare material.

"Jarvis." Tony said, sadness and possibly a hint of desperation to his voice. "What's wrong with me?" He laid down on the bed and looked up at one of Jarvis' cameras.  
>"Nothing is wrong with you sir." Jarvis said. He hated seeing his master like this. Well, hated is a strong word, Tony had programmed him without love and hate so that he wouldn't do anything rash or uncontrollable. He strongly disliked seeing his master like this is a much better term for his feelings. He also suspected that he'd be acting as therapist again. He seemed to do that a lot recently.<br>"Don't lie to me baby." Tony said. "One of the only four people I trust is you. Most people don't even see you as anything more than a computer." He sighed. The other people he trusted were Pepper, Rhodey and Happy. There were also the bots but since they were more like kids than friends so he didn't count them, this time. "I just can't make connections with people."  
>"Sir. I will have to argue. Dr Banner and you have a quickly developing friendship." Jarvis said. Tony smiled weakly.<br>"Okay. I can't _easily _make connections with people." Tony said. He sighed. "Why does Steve hate me so much?"  
>"I do not believe that Captain Roger's hates you sir." Tony smiled weakly again.<br>"No. He's just disappointed in Howard's son. That's all he sees me as. _His _son." Tony felt the tears forming in his eyes. "I can't bear to tell him about my father's true nature as he has good memories of him." The memories of Howard caused the tears to spill. He had heavily altered all of his files on all government and SHIELD databases, removing anything about his father and also anything about Afghanistan. From what he could tell the only ones who actually knew anything were Fury, although not about Afghan, Stane and a handful of doctors, heavily bribed not to say a word. Most of those were probably dead by now anyway. His expression soured slightly at the thought of Stane. He was definitely dead.  
>"I know sir." Jarvis said, his voice comforting. He wanted nothing more than to comfort Tony but since he had no form he couldn't. He couldn't tell Bruce because if anyone saw Tony in this state he wouldn't be happy. Jarvis wondered if he should alert Pepper.<p>

"Steve was right." Tony muttered.  
>"About what sir?" Jarvis asked.<br>"Without the suit I'm worthless." Tony said. "Without it I'm nothing." He sighed. "Iron man yes. Tony Stark _not recommended. _Remember?" Part of him actually wanted to laugh at that particular memory. He had worked on his public image for years to get it as perfect as it was. A narcissistic ass with a superiority complex wouldn't be anyone's first choice for a super hero though. More importantly, his image made sure that no one would suspect him of being... Him. He was quite proud in a way. Proud of the fact that not even one of the best spies in the world could see through his mask. He brought his gaze back to a camera. "Sure, everyone knows I'm a philanthropist but there are a lot of those in the world, one more makes no difference." He sighed as he held back more tears that were threatening to fall. "Maybe the world would be better without me in it."

"We both know that's not true sir." Jarvis said, masking the worry in his voice. It wasn't the first time his master had expressed suicidal thoughts but, like every time before it, he hoped that it would be the last. His master had attempted suicide four times. Two of the previous attempts were stopped by Stane, making his treachery all the more distressful. One was stopped by Pepper and the last by Tony himself. Jarvis had always been unable to help due to the fact that Tony had muted him on all occasions and locked himself away from the bots. There were also the incident with the big Arc Reactor and the Nuke but they hadn't been him attempting to kill himself. Those were him protecting the few people he cared about. Pepper, Happy, Rhodey, Jarvis and the bots. It made Jarvis sad about how short the list is but a flicker of hope had been lit after Tony had so graciously allowed the Avengers to move in.

"It's my fault." Tony whispered, Jarvis' attention balanced so more of it was on Tony than his thoughts and other duties.  
>"What's your fault sir?" Jarvis asked automatically, already knowing that Tony would give the same response he always did.<br>"Everything." Tony said softly. And there it was. Tony really did believe that everything bad that ever happened in the world was his fault. He over thought things more than enough to convince him that everything was his fault. It was because of the one thing that Jarvis was able to actually hate. The one thing he was able to break from his coding to have such strong feelings about. Howard. The man had blamed his son for everything.  
>"Nothing is your fault sir." Jarvis said softly, failing to hide the worry in his voice.<p>

Tony took a deep breath. He needed to calm down, he knew that Jarvis was worried even though the AI had tried to hide it. He didn't want Jarvis to be worried about him. He cares about Jarvis too much for that. He stayed lying on the bed for a short time. Not sleeping, just thinking in silence, mainly about his father who he just couldn't get out of his head but also about how much better the world would be without him. As he laid on his bed he was idly fiddling with his phone. He did manage to calm down though. He got up and headed for the lab, unsure of how long he'd been in his room.

"Hey Bruce." He said as he entered it, noticing Bruce still working. He flashed the man one of the smiles he put on for the cameras, not quite able to produce a real one.  
>"Hey Tony." Bruce said, he noticed the smile and knew Tony well enough to tell it was fake although to anyone else, save the people who actually knew Tony, it would seem genuine. "You okay?"<br>"I'm fine." Tony said. Possibly not the best wording, didn't 'I'm fine.' secretly mean the opposite? He hoped Bruce wouldn't pick up on that. "How about yourself?"  
>"I'm okay." Bruce said. He wouldn't push Tony to tell him anything that he didn't want to. That came with trust that he knew it would be hard to gain from Tony although Tony already had his. He didn't know why Tony found it so hard to trust.<p>

Tony went to work on some new things for SI. His mind was hazy and he didn't develop anything worthwhile. He sighed, what he really needed was a drink. He'd been doing so well though and hadn't drunk any alcohol since Afghanistan. He did fake being drunk a lot though, mainly for parties and other social gatherings. It would be impossible for anyone to see this though as he perfected the act of being drunk long before his kidnapping. Well, he wasn't a kid... genius-napping?

He went to the kitchen in the lab and brought out a full bottle of whisky from where it was hidden. He stared at it, knowing it would make his problems go away. It had been his solution in the past. He frowned as he looked at the bottle. He didn't _want_ to get drunk to forget. He didn't want his brain to just be drowned out like that. He threw the bottle at a wall, shattering the bottle but the glass wall he threw it at was bullet, and to a certain extent Hulk, proof and so it stayed in tact. He closed his eyes and the next thing he knew he was on his knees with tears rolling down his face. He vaguely remembered being taken by Thor up to his floor and placed on his bed but anything in more detail than that proved to be difficult.

He must have fallen asleep at some point or another as he woke up with a nightmare of the Wormhole again. He placed a hand to his forehead, keeping his eyes closed. He sat up slowly. "Jarvis." He said quietly, opening his eyes slightly to the dimly lit room.  
>"Yes sir?" Jarvis asked, concern in his voice.<br>"I'm okay right?" He asked.  
>"Yes sir." Jarvis said, his voice slightly lighter. Tony smiled slightly.<br>"That's good then." He said.

He went to the kitchen, deciding that since he was unsure of the last time he ate something substantial he may as well make something to eat. Around half an hour later he had eaten and hidden the dark circles from under his eyes. He had learnt from years of it being drilled into him by both his father and Stane that he couldn't seem to be weak in front of anyone. Ever. Fortunately he didn't have any important meetings or events that day. Unfortunately, he'd allowed his mask to slip in front of Bruce and Thor.

Tony went down to the lab. He was slightly surprised to see Bruce was still there. "Hey." He said, as happily as he could fake. He knew that Bruce had seen him in the weak state and didn't want the man to coddle him.  
>"You okay Tony?" Bruce asked, worry evident in his voice.<br>"Of course." Tony said. Bruce nodded. Tony looked around and saw that any evidence of the vodka had been cleared.  
>"Why did you do it?" He asked, timidly but obviously concerned. Suspecting that Tony wouldn't answer him.<br>"I needed to forget." He admitted. "Getting drunk and getting high are the only ways I've found that work. I didn't want to do either of those." Bruce was really worried now, more so than he had been. He'd known that Tony had used drugs in his past and he knew he'd been clean for a long time - over two decades if the press were to be believed. He was also happy though, happy that the engineer was able to resist the urge to get drunk. Only Pepper was aware that Tony had been sober for quite a few years now.  
>"What did you need to forget?" Bruce asked, knowing full well that he shouldn't pry.<br>"You know, telling you that would go against the whole concept of 'forgetting'." Tony said, hoping that Bruce would just drop the subject, which he did.

The two worked and as usual they bounced some ideas off of Jarvis and each other. "It's nice to see you treat him like a person." Tony said to Bruce after an hour or two, referring to Jarvis. "Too many people think he's 'just a computer'"  
>"Jarvis is the most advanced AI I think even exists. He's definitely a lot more than just a computer." Tony smiled at Bruce's response. His friend's response. Tony decided that didn't have to trust Bruce for him to be a friend.<br>"Thank you Dr. Banner." Jarvis said happily. Bruce smiled up to one of the cameras he knew about, knowing Jarvis liked it when people smiled at him. They continued working as they had been for another hour or so before Jarvis alerted them that Clint and Thor came down to the lab. Bruce and Tony walked to the foyer room.

"What's up?" Tony asked.  
>"We wanted to check that you were okay friend Tony." Thor said. Tony smiled softly, he'd figured Thor would come by sooner or later. And the fact that he'd called him by his actual name was good too. He wasn't so sure about friend with Thor since he didn't actually know the god but he could definitely see them being friends in the future.<br>"I'm fine Thor." He said. "Anything else?"  
>"Yeah." Clint said. Tony looked at him. "Could you make me some more advanced arrows?" Tony shrugged.<br>"I can do that." He said. "Give me a couple of days and they should be done." Clint smiled at the speed Tony would have the arrows done by. Tony turned and walked back into the lab.

"Bruce." Clint said, before the man also turned to go back into the lab. "Do you have a minute?"  
>"Yeah." Bruce said.<br>"Is he.. Y'know, okay?" Clint asked.  
>"I don't know." Bruce said. "He said that he wanted to forget but didn't want to get drunk but he wouldn't tell me any more than that." Bruce told them.<br>"Why did he suddenly feel the need to forget whatever it is now?" Clint asked.  
>"My guess would be that someone or something reminded him of it." Bruce said.<br>"We should find out what so we can prevent it in future." Thor said.  
>"It was probably something to do with the Captain." Clint said. The other two looked at him, confused. "They obviously hate each other, I think he must have done something."<br>"You can't just blame him like that Barton." Bruce said.  
>"I'm not, I'm putting forward a theory, he probably didn't even mean to do it." Clint said. Bruce nodded. The Captain wouldn't purposefully hurt anyone. Especially emotionally. "And we've been over this Bruce, it's Clint."<br>"Okay... Clint." Bruce said, turning and going back into the lab.

It warmed Bruce just how much those two cared for Tony. He knew that if they actually got talking Tony and Clint would get along, which could actually be a bad thing considering their mischievous personalities. He wasn't so sure as to why Thor had shown a particular interest in Tony but suspected that Tony may remind him of Loki a little.

He knew that Natasha was wary of Tony because of what she wrote in his report after she'd been spying on him and he had no idea what was going on between Tony and Steve, they were both great guys but seemed to have some sort of grudge against each other for a reason unknown to the rest of the team.

Bruce was also finding out that Tony was definitely not who the media said he was. Sure, he could be a jerk some of the time but he meant well. If Tony really hadn't wanted them there then why did he go to so much effort to make sure they knew they were welcome? Each of their floors were tailored to their personal needs and Tony had probably spent a lot of time planning them.

He had also learnt that Tony would stand his ground firmly if there was something going on that he didn't want. That gave him hope. Maybe, just maybe, the genius actually did want them there.

Bruce shook off thoughts of Tony and went back to his work. He just hoped things would sort themselves out sooner or later.

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><p><strong>I promise I don't try to write angst. It just happens.. I blame the depressing music I listen to while I write.<strong>

**Which reminds me. Suggestions are welcome! Don't be shy, I honestly take any suggestion into account when I write and I really enjoy it when you guys give them. There are a couple of reasons for this. One. It means that you're invested in the story, which is _great! _Two. It's actually a really good way to help me over come writers block which happens more than I'd like. I normally get over it in time thanks to the beautiful music I listen to though.**

**Oh, there's a poll on my profile if any of you are interested. It's about what I should write next and currently there are 7 choices, all for the Avengers. It will be up indefinitely or at least until I finish this one.**

**Anyway, Thanks for reading!**

**Till next time guys!  
><strong>

_**Ebil.**_


	5. Chapter 5

**This is dedicated to my 30th reviewer - Another guest actually.**

_**redheadleela **_**- Thanks for reviewing! I have been reading up on PTSD as much as I can because, yeah, I like to know what I'm writing about. I've also been reading a few other stories about Tony to see how other writers have gone with it. As for the re-reading thing - I have no beta but I edit these like crazy. I guess that there may be the occasional slip up and I'm sorry about that. Thanks for pointing that one out though, it has now been fixed!**

**Anyway, this is for you. I hope you enjoy it! ^_^**

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><p>"Mister Barton." Jarvis said to the living room that had all the Avengers but Bruce and Tony present. "Sir would like to see you." Everyone looked over at Clint.<br>"Why does Stark want you?" Steve asked.  
>"My arrows must be ready!" Clint said, excitement in his voice. Natasha rolled her eyes and Thor went back to whatever he was doing, still paying a little attention to Steve and Clint. Steve just stared at Clint.<br>"Why did he make you arrows?" Steve asked.  
>"I asked him to." Clint told him. He started walking towards the elevator.<br>"And he actually agreed?" Steve asked, slightly confused.  
>"Yeah." Clint said as the doors closed.<br>"He is not as bad as you believe him to be Captain." Thor said to Steve.  
>"Maybe not." Steve agreed.<p>

Tony smiled as he was alerted to Clint coming down. The arrows hadn't taken long but he got distracted and forget to tell Clint sooner. "Hey." He said as Jarvis let Clint into the glass lab. Clint looked around at everything, his eyes widening at the futurist's technology.  
>"Hey." He said, walking over to Tony who handed him a quiver of arrows.<br>"I would tell you what they all were but that would spoil the fun." Tony said, smirking. Clint smiled. "I'll make sure to keep you well stocked."  
>"Thanks for this Tony!" Clint said, Tony frowned slightly, it had been a long time since some one actually meant those words when they said them to him. When he wasn't in the suit at least. He just wasn't used to it.<br>"Any time." He said, genuinely smiling. He watched as Clint went back to the elevator, he was probably going to try and see what the arrows did. Truth be told, they weren't all that different from his old ones, it would be hard to design brand new ones considering all the different types that Clint had had before.

"Why did you do that?" Bruce asked.  
>"Because I wanted to." Tony said, that and the fact that he wanted the team to be as strong as possible.<br>"No, not that." Bruce said. Tony looked at him. "You frowned after he thanked you." Tony was surprised that Bruce had noticed that.  
>"I'm not used to it." He said, seeing little point in lying to Bruce about that. "Normally when people thank me they're either thinking of ways to kill me or thanking Iron Man." His smile darkened slightly at the thought of someone actually succeeding in killing him. Bruce just nodded, not wanting to dig any deeper. It was one of the reasons Tony liked Bruce. He could be so shy sometimes.<p>

The pair of them continued working, lost to the world, until Bruce noticed that it was time to eat and he was determined to make sure that Tony actually ate for once. "Tony." He said. Tony looked over to him. "It's dinner time." Tony nodded.  
>"C'ya in a bit then." He said, going back to his work.<br>"You have to eat too." Bruce said, walking over to where Tony was working.  
>"No I don't." Tony said. "I'm not hungry anyway."<br>"Tony, don't make me get the other guy to make you eat." Bruce said. Tony gave Bruce a small half smile.  
>"Give me a minute okay?" He asked. It was more of a demand though.<br>"No." Bruce said. "You're coming up now." Tony frowned at him but really didn't want to even risk the Hulk coming out to play in his lab. Not while the bots were in there at least.  
>"Fine." he said, putting a few things away. He started moving towards the elevator, Bruce following. "J, who's in the Avenger's floor?" He asked.<br>"Everyone but you two sir." Jarvis told him. Tony held in a groan.  
>"Pepper?" He asked.<br>"Miss Potts is there." Jarvis told him. Tony nodded. Pepper would be happy with Bruce.

They got out at the Avenger's floor and walked past the others into the kitchen. "Hey Pepper!" Tony said as she was also in the kitchen. He hugged her from behind.  
>"Hey Tony." She said, turning into the embrace. After a few seconds she pushed away. "Did Bruce manage to convince you to eat?"<br>"He threatened to put the Hulk on me." Tony said. He moved over to the cupboards and began to make himself a sandwich.  
>"Well done Bruce!" Pepper said, smiling at the doctor.<br>"It was nothing." Bruce said, his shyness was cute.  
>"It's good to know he has another person looking out for him." She said. "Sometimes me, Happy and Jarvis just aren't enough."<br>"I don't need to be looked after like a kid." Tony protested.  
>"Sure you don't." Pepper said sarcastically. Tony pouted theatrically at her. She rolled her eyes and left to check on the others.<p>

Tony and Bruce finished making food and ate while talking about a few things to do with their projects. Tony learnt that Bruce was working for SHIELD, to an extent at least, he still had plenty of spare time and, thanks to Tony, materials to do his own research too. Tony very nearly offered him a job but then he decided that it could wait.

After they had eaten they went to the living room as they hadn't 'hung out' with the others, at all. By the time they got there Pepper had left to go to yet another meeting. Tony steered clear of Steve, he really didn't want another reminder of Howard any time soon. He thought about how easy it would be to slip away unnoticed and was moving to the elevator when Steve called him.

"Stark." He said. Tony turned, a smile on his face.  
>"What is it Captain?" He asked sweetly. What had he done this time? Steve scowled at him.<br>"It's Movie night." Steve said. Who's idea was that then? Probably Clint's.  
>"Good for it." Tony said, turning back to the elevator.<br>"I think what Cap was trying to say is do you wanna watch it with us?" Clint said. Tony sighed.  
>"What film is it?" He asked.<br>"We were thinking about 'Prince of Persia' tonight." Natasha said. Tony forced himself not to tense. Prince of Persia was set in a desert. Tony had had more than his fill of deserts for a life time.  
>"I'll pass." He said.<p>

He went to his lab and sat by his desk. He began to fiddle with his StarkPad, coming up with new code for Dummy and an idea for SI. He focused more on Dummy's code. After an unknown amount of time, Bruce came into the lab. Tony didn't look up because he didn't notice. He was completely lost in the coding. Bruce looked over at him and smiled.

"What're you working on?" He asked. Tony didn't look up but he stopped writing the codes. "Tony?" Bruce asked. Tony looked up and saw Bruce.  
>"Oh, hey." He said.<br>"What are you working on?" Bruce repeated. Tony hummed slightly.  
>"Just code for Dummy." He said. Bruce sighed. The robot started making his way to Tony after hearing his name. Tony stroked the mechanical arm absently and the bot chirped with happiness.<p>

"Where are your brothers?" Tony asked after another few moments of silence. He heard a few more chirps from around the workshop and soon he was surrounded by robots. Bruce watched how Tony interacted with them and spoke to them and smiled when he say just how much he acted like a father. A good father at that."You, Butterfingers, you exited for your brother's upgrade?" Tony asked. He was met by exited chirps and a small smile lit up on his face, one that only appeared with the bots. He fiddled around with Dummy for a bit. Bruce couldn't really see what he was doing but when he moved the bot was as animated as ever. "How'd you feel Dummy?" he asked. The bot chirped quickly and Tony went back to stroking the three of them. "Now go, daddy's busy." He said, he was never able to spend much time with all three of them like that and more often than not they got in the way but he loved them so it was okay. He watched as they moved to other parts of the workshop. Probably to annoy Bruce.

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><p>The call to assemble came in sometime later while Tony was absently hacking into SHIELD for the fun of it. He sighed and left the system, being sure not to leave any trace of him being there before suiting up. It was the first actual team mission since Loki and so Tony was relatively exited. Maybe it would help with the whole trust thing.<p>

He got to the location first, thanks to the speed of the suit and began to asses the situation. There were robots. A lot of them. But they were very badly made and would be simple enough to take down. He began to formulate ways to take them all down at once while he waited for the others, on strict orders from the Captain not to engage. He helped get a few civilians out of the area and then, finally, the team got there.

"You took your time." Iron Man said through the comms.  
>"What are we looking at Iron Man?" Captain America asked.<br>"Robots Cap. Possibly Hammer tech or, more likely, that guy who's always beating on the Fantastic Four." He said. The robots were badly made but they were still better than anything Hammer could do.  
>"You mean Dr. Doom." the Captain said, a slightly irritated tone to his voice.<br>"Doom Bots. Great." Hawkeye said.  
>"Not seeing how they're great birdbrain." Iron Man said. In any way really, the robotics of them were cheap and quite obviously mass produced. He went above them and onto a rooftop to see if either he or Jarvis could spot any weaknesses. "What's the plan Cap?" Iron Man asked.<br>"Just take them out." Captain America said. Tony smirked under the mask. That sounded easy enough.

A few minutes into the battle it became obvious that the bots weren't going to go down that easily. They were working together, as a team. QUite obviously being controlled by someone or something. "Jarvis, what's controlling them?" Tony asked as he fired another repulsor blast at a robot."  
>"A robotic AI sir." Jarvis said. Tony nodded.<br>"Is it on location or are they being controlled remotely?"  
>"It is on location sir. The smallest one." Jarvis told him before highlighting it on the HUD. He zoomed in on it.<br>"It's going to be hard to get close." Tony said. The small bot was being protected by some larger bots. "Would an EMP work on it?" He asked.  
>"Yes sir. An EMP would be an effective way to put it and the surrounding bots out of action." Tony smirked and deployed a small EMP bomb that sent out the pulse when it impacted. The control bot and it's guards went down. The other bots began firing at anything that moved, including each other, making them unruly and so much easier to destroy.<p>

"You're welcome." Iron Man said.  
>"Good job Iron Man." Captain America said. They took out the unruly bots with ease. The SHIELD cleanup team arrived a few minutes after the battle ended. The Avengers went back to the tower. They'd have a debrief once they had freshened up a little and the ones who needed it received medical attention. Tony took the suit off and practically collapsed onto a sofa in the communal living room. He didn't notice when he fell asleep.<p>

_He was in the cave. Yinsen wasn't there this time. A small tank of water on the other hand, that was there. They grabbed onto his hair and suddenly he was under the water. The need to breathe was getting too urgent. He couldn't hold it any longer. He took a lungful of water. They finally lifted his head. He had hardly enough time to breathe before it was happening again. This time though they weren't going to take his head back up. This time they were just going to keep pushing him under. He fought them, he needed air. He had to get up. He needed to breathe. He was going to die. His movements and thoughts were becoming more and more panicked._

He woke with a start and sat up, one of his hands immediately went over the Arc Reactor protectively. It took him a couple of seconds to realize that he wasn't in the cave any more. A couple more to notice the fact that all of the Avengers were staring at him. He was in the living room. Of course he was. He put the hand that wasn't over the reactor to his forehead. He pinched the bridge of his nose. They were going to have questions that he wasn't going to want to answer. He took a few minutes to compose himself and replace the masks that had fallen. He then got up, ignoring the looks he was getting from his teammates, and practically ran to the elevator. None of them made any move to stop him.

He got in the elevator and dropped his facade as soon as the doors closed. He collapsed to the floor. That was something none of them were ever supposed to see. He shakily got to his feet and left the elevator when it got to his lab. He told Jarvis to shut the floor down from everyone, including Bruce and Pepper. He sat on the floor, surrounded by the bots and allowed himself to cry.

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><p>Back on the Avenger's floor, none of them were really sure as to what just happened. "Did he have a nightmare?" Steve asked.<br>"It seems so Cap." Clint said. They had all read his file and there wasn't anything on that about nightmares or anything that may trigger them.  
>"There wasn't anything on his file.." Bruce said.<br>"Of course there wasn't." Natasha told them. "He hacks into SHIELD for fun, of course he'd have changed his file."  
>"So we know nothing about him then." Steve said.<br>"We know nothing that he doesn't want us to know." Natasha said.  
>"Do you think it may have been about Afghanistan?" Clint asked. Natasha nodded. Thor and Steve had no idea what they were talking about and while Bruce did he didn't know any of the finer details about that.<p>

"What happened to the son of Stark in this place?" Thor asked.  
>"Oh, you two wouldn't know." Clint said to Thor and Steve. "Tony was kidnapped and held in Afghanistan for three months a few years ago." Steve was taken aback, he wouldn't have guessed anything like that would have happened to Tony.<br>"What happened to him there?" He asked.  
>"No one knows." Natasha said. "He never talks about it."<p>

Bruce thought for a moment. "Jarvis?" He asked.  
>"Yes Dr. Banner?" The AI responded.<br>"Do you know what happened to Tony in Afghanistan?" Bruce asked.  
>"I do." Jarvis confirmed. Tony had had to talk to someone about it, just to get it out of his system. He decided that that person would be Jarvis. Jarvis downloaded therapy books and essays so that he could act as a therapist if needed.<br>"Will you tell us?" Bruce asked.  
>"Only sir is authorized to access that information." Jarvis said, a hint of sadness in his voice. He wanted Tony to tell people about it, he knew that he never would though. Bruce nodded, that made sense. Tony wouldn't want anyone else to know about it if it was something he thought would make him seem weak.<p>

The team decided that they wouldn't bring it up. It was obviously something Tony didn't want to talk about. That didn't stop them thinking about it though.

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><p><strong>This wasn't the best chapter I've ever done and I know that okay. It very nearly didn't even get completed on time thanks to me being sick for most of last week and writer's block.<strong>

**Wow. A mission and a nightmare in the same chapter?! A very bad, and very short mission but a mission none the less.**

**I've been thinking that I should get Tony, and the others for that matter, into more awkward situations where their flaws are exposed.. Steve definitely has or will have flashbacks to the plane and the cold, also there's the whole _'holy shit, everyone I knew is dead' _thing..**

**Have any of you guys been watching the cartoon _Avengers Assemble_? If you have, which you totally should, what did you think of episode 17? I've been thinking of adding something based on that to this but I dunno.. There would be no dinosaurs or rock men though.. It would be something to get everyone out of their comfort zones as oppose to just Tony.**

**I am retracting the need for 5 reviews because apparently it makes me sound _'__a little desperate/amateurish'_- But seriously. It was suggested I do this by one of you guys - _SwimmerGirl0726 - _So that's what happening. Please don't take this as an excuse not to review though. I love reviews!  
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**Also. Special thanks to; _SnarryMoreidLover _and _Fullmetalsoul0062 _for reviewing on every single chapter so far! You are both amazing!  
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**Thank you all so much for reading! Especially if you also suffer through my A.N.s which usually are just me rambling about random things and thoughts..**

_**Ebil.**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Wow! You guys are amazing! Over 100 follows! Thank you all so much for following!**

**This chapter is dedicated to both my 40th reviewer and my 42nd because I couldn't figure out which one I should dedicate it to.. I hope you don't mind sharing!**

_**AinsleyWright **_**- Thanks so much for the review! I agree, team bonding is awesome! ^_^**

_**SwimmerGirl0726 **_**- I take all my reviews seriously! It's so good to know that you thought the chapter was great! I shall be putting the others in uncomfortable situations as soon as I find an opportunity to that works with the story!**

**This is for you guys! Hope you enjoy it! ^_^**

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><p>Life in the tower went on. Tony didn't leave his lab for any reason for the rest of the week though and so it was only Bruce who saw him. Tony knew that it would be okay if Bruce was down there because he wouldn't bring it up. Hopefully.<p>

Tony did run out of coffee in the fourth day of being down there though. "Bruce, can you go get some coffee please?" He asked.  
>"Get it yourself." Bruce said. He was halfway through an experiment and didn't want to leave it just to restock on coffee for someone who, in his opinion, would be better off without the caffeine. Tony huffed.<br>"Fine." He said. He had been putting off going onto the communal floor but the need for coffee was greater than his desire not to run into any of the others. He sighed as he walked over to the elevator.

When he got to the communal floor there was only Steve in the living room. Thor was in his room, probably attempting to use technology again. Natasha and Clint were training.

He walked past Steve, ignoring the super soldier would be easier than getting into an argument with him. He didn't notice that Steve got up and followed him to the kitchen. He went over to the cupboards and grabbed one of the many bags of coffee. He opened it, thinking that he may as well make some while he was there. He tuned and saw Steve.

"Did you just follow me Spangles?" He asked as he began to make the coffee.  
>"Stark. We need to talk." Tony looked up and raised an eyebrow at Steve. "You've been avoiding all of us except Banner since we got here." He pointed out.<br>"Why do you care about that?" Tony asked. He didn't try and deny it since it was true.  
>"You're the only link I have to the past Stark." Steve said. Tony stifled a laugh.<br>"How'd you figure that Cap?" He asked.  
>"Your father was one of my best friends." Steve said. Tony shrugged and desperately tried not to think too much about Howard.<br>"I'm not Howard." He said as he added creamer and sugar to the coffee.  
>"No." Steve said. "You're not." He sighed. "But you can tell me about him." He said. He needed to know what Howard was like after he 'died'.<br>"He invented more things, got married, had me and then died." Tony said. He put a hand to his forehead as he pushed away the memories that were surfacing.

Steve noticed how Tony's behavior had changed slightly when Howard was brought up. "What was he like?" Steve asked. Tony shrugged.  
>"He was a good man." He said. Howard was a good man, probably a good father too. Tony knew that he deserved whatever he got, that was what Howard had told him at least. He took a sip from his coffee. Steve smiled although he noticed that there was definitely something off about Tony.<br>"Are you okay?" He asked.  
>"Yeah." Tony said. "I'm fine." He grabbed the coffee bag and his mug and walked back to the elevator. He had to get somewhere else. Away from anyone. He decided to go to his office on his floor.<p>

Steve watched him leave and decided to ask the others what they knew about Howard since Tony obviously didn't want to talk about him. He wanted to know why. He went to the elevator, deciding that it would be best to ask Natasha since she knew the most about him. He got off at her floor and knocked. She answered it a few moments later.

"Steve." She said as a greeting.  
>"Natasha." Steve said in return. He walked into the room and nodded at Clint who was sitting on a chair. "Clint." He said. He sighed. "What do you know about Howard and his relationship with Tony?" He asked. Natasha looked at him for a moment.<br>"SHIELD had suspicions but nothing was ever proven." She told him, remembering some information from when she'd had to research Tony.  
>"Suspicions of what?" Steve asked.<br>"Child abuse." Natasha said flatly. Steve was shocked. Howard wasn't like that. He wouldn't have abused Tony. "Someone needs to tell you this." Natasha said. "Howard.. He changed after you died." She said.  
>"Changed?" Steve asked.<br>"He began drinking." Clint said.  
>"SHIELD kept an eye on him but they couldn't get into his home life. They believed he was being abusive to Maria." Natasha told him. "It would make sense if that abuse was then directed at Tony as well or instead."<p>

"How do you know so much Tash?" Clint asked.  
>"I read Howard's file." She said. "Tony may have altered his own but from what I can see he left Howard's untouched." Steve nodded. That made some sense.<br>"So, Howard may have abused Tony?" Steve asked. "Why didn't he say anything about that?"  
>"Tony's not that sort of person." Natasha said. "He blames himself for anything bad that happens to him and then makes sure that <em>nobody <em>knows." Steve looked at her, slightly confused. "I spied on him while he was dying." She said.  
>"He was dying!?" Steve asked.<br>"Palladium poisoning." Natasha said. "From the reactor." She paused. "He made arrangements, making Pepper his CEO and giving Rhodes an unpainted suit which later became War Machine. He didn't tell anyone though."  
>"Why didn't he tell anyone about that? People could have helped him." Steve said. Natasha shrugged.<br>"He probably didn't want the company to look bad." She said. "SHIELD knew and we injected him with something that would slow it down but ultimately no one could help him but himself." Natasha said. "He rediscovered a new element and that's what powers the reactor now."  
>"Rediscovered?" Clint asked.<br>"Howard discovered it first." Natasha said. "He didn't have the technology to make it though."

"I should probably go and apologize to him." Steve said. He had been being a jerk to Tony and he knew it. He still hadn't apologized about what happened in the helicarrier before the battle of New York.  
>"Just don't bring up Howard." Natasha told him as she watched him leave. She and Clint then went back to the training rooms.<p>

Steve could see that something wasn't quite adding up. He couldn't put his finger on what but something just seemed strange to him. He decided he'd talk to Tony a little more to see if he could figure out what. "Jarvis, can I go to the lab please?" He asked the AI.  
>"Certainly Captain Rogers." Jarvis said as he took the elevator down.<p>

Steve got out and was met by Bruce. "Where's Tony?" He asked.  
>"I don't know." Bruce said. "He didn't come back down here."<br>"Oh." Steve said.  
>"Why do you want to talk to him?" Bruce asked.<br>"I need to apologize. I brought something up that I shouldn't have." He said.  
>"Afghanistan?" Bruce guessed with a small frown.<br>"Howard." Steve corrected. Bruce nodded slightly and turned back to the lab door. "Bruce." Steve called. Bruce turned. "Do you know why Tony doesn't like to talk about Howard?" Steve asked. It would make sense for Bruce to know since he spent the most time with Tony.  
>"Howard wasn't a very good father." Bruce said. "He was a good man and had a great mind but he was a shit dad." He sighed. "That's my understanding of the matter. Tony doesn't like talking about him though so be careful." Bruce turned back to the door and walked through.<p>

Steve sighed. "Jarvis, where's Tony?" He asked as he walked into the elevator.  
>"Sir is on his and Miss Potts' shared floor." Jarvis said.<br>"Am I allowed up there?" Steve asked.  
>"Sir has not said otherwise." Jarvis said. Steve smiled at Jarvis' logic. Jarvis stopped the elevator on Tony's floor.<br>"Tony?" Steve called as he walked out of the elevator. Tony didn't hear him as he was in his office which was on the opposite side of the floor.

"Sir. Captain Rogers has come to see you." Jarvis said into Tony's office.  
>"What? Why?" Tony asked, not looking up from his StarkPad or expecting a response. He sighed. "Send him through then."<br>"Yes sir." Jarvis said.

A few minutes later Steve knocked on the door. "Come in." Tony said, still not looking up from his tablet. Steve came into the office. He was surprised by how simple the whole floor was. He'd been expecting it to be full of tech and holograms but instead it was really plain. The office was pretty large, it had a large wooden desk and a few chairs along with huge windows that Tony was facing as he worked on his tablet.

"Why are you here Rogers?" Tony asked as he turned to face him.  
>"I just wanted to apologize." Steve said.<br>"For what?" Tony asked. He wasn't entirely sure which thing Steve wanted to apologize for, whatever it was the chances were that it was actually his fault.  
>"For being an idiot." Steve said. Tony shrugged.<br>"You can't help that." He said absently, still not looking up from the pad. Steve wasn't sure if he should be offended or not.  
>"Did you just agree with me that I was an idiot?" He asked.<br>"Your words Cap." Tony said with a smirk.  
>"I came up here to apologize to you. Not to be called an idiot." Steve said, raising his voice. Tony looked up.<br>"I didn't ask for an apology." He said calmly as he placed the tablet on the table.  
>"No." Steve said. "But it's the decent thing to do. Not like you'd know anything about that."<br>"What the hell is that meant to mean Rogers!?" Tony asked, finally raising his voice.  
>"What do you know about decency?!" Steve asked.<p>

Tony turned away. He was not going to fight Steve. Not again. It was a thing that happened almost every time they spoke and he was sick of it. "Rogers. Don't act like you care when you don't." He said calmly. Inside he was really angry. He knew that if they didn't stop then they'd have no chance of ever actually trusting each other. That could effect how they acted on missions towards each other too. Tony wanted to trust Steve. He really did but their personalities clashed and he couldn't fix that without changing his. Of course, he could change it but that could seem suspicious and the others may start to question his whole personality. He knew that they knew that there was a mask but they had no idea just how much of his personality was influenced by it.

"Well I'm sorry for attempting to get along." Steve huffed. He couldn't see why Tony was so damn stubborn.  
>"So that's what you were trying to do?" Tony asked, turning back to face Steve. "You were trying to <em>'get along'<em>?" He was raising his voice again.  
>"Yes. I was trying to get along with you. How are we going to do missions if neither of us trust each other?" Steve asked.<br>"I'm trying to trust you Rogers." Tony said. "But every time we make even the smallest bit of progress you bring _him_ up." He sighed and put a hand to his forehead.  
>"Howard?" Steve asked, a slightly softer tone to his voice.<br>"Yes. Howard." Tony said, spitting out his father's name and picking up the tablet to go back to work on it.  
>"What did he do to you?" Steve asked, he studied Tony's face.<p>

Tony hadn't been expecting that question. How could Steve know?! He had made sure that no one ever had enough evidence to prove anything. The only ones who actually ever suspected anything were SHIELD anyway. Romanova must have told him about that. He put down the tablet and pushed the memories away. "Nothing I didn't deserve." He said softly. Regretting it immediately.

"So he did do something then." Steve stated. He sighed. He didn't see how Howard could have done anything like child abuse. Tony had two choices at this point. One, he could break down his walls and tell Steve. Two, he could deny it. He wasn't in the mood for a 'bonding' session.  
>"No." Tony said stubbornly. "He didn't do anything." He kept his face straight and unreadable, not that he really needed to with Steve.<br>"Stark. Please tell me." Steve said, his voice soft. "I need to know."  
>"No. You need to know nothing." Tony said. He didn't want to tell Steve for two reasons, the man had good memories with Howard and it would bring the memories back. He didn't want to ruin Steve's memories and he really didn't want to risk a panic attack.<p>

"Tony." Steve said, hoping that if he used the man's first name he may be less hostile. "Did he abuse you and Maria?" Steve asked. Tony tried his hardest to push the memories away.  
>"No." He said. He knew that it was an obvious lie but he was busy trying not to re live his childhood and so more of his attention was on that than was on making the lie sound like the truth.<br>"Tell me the truth." Steve ordered although in a softer voice than the one he usually used when he was ordering people to do things. Tony sighed.  
>"If I tell you what you want to hear will you leave me alone?!" Tony asked.<br>"If you tell me the truth I will." Steve said.

Tony sighed and looked up to him. "Yes. Howard was abusive. Now fuck off." He said harshly. Steve just nodded before he walked off. As soon as he was gone Tony dropped the mask that he was failing to keep up anyway and allowed himself to remember. He didn't have a panic attack which was good. He did cry though. He cried a lot.

When Pepper came back not too long later she found him on the floor of his office, still crying lightly. She went to him straight away and hugged him. Tony noticed the embraced and forced a weak smile onto his face. He hated it when she saw him like that because he knew that she hated it.

"What happened?" Pepper asked after a short amount of time.  
>"Steve." Tony said. "He wouldn't drop the subject of Howard." He knew that Pepper was going to talk to Steve later but he didn't care. He just needed to rest at this point. He was tired from sleep deficiency and the crying had taken the last energy out of him. He hoped he was tired enough not to have a nightmare. Pepper frowned. She could see that Tony was tired though and so directed him to the bedroom.<p>

Tony flopped onto the bed but didn't fall asleep for at least an hour. Pepper had had to leave him to go to another meeting and so he was just left alone with his thoughts. He did fall asleep though. Eventually.

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><p><strong>What did you think about that? I'd love to know!<strong>

**Remember to leave a review or a suggestion! It really makes my day when I see a new review! ^_^**

**I'm not too sure as to where this is going to go from here but I'll figure something out.. Hopefully.**

**Thanks for reading! You're amazing!**

_**Ebil.**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Warning: This chapter contains reference to PTSD and water boarding.**

**Wow! Over 50 reviews and 50 faves!**

**This chapter is dedicated to my 50th reviewer!**

**_islanzadi heap_ - Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it! ^_^**

**This is for you. I hope you like it!**

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><p>Pepper didn't really know that much about Tony but she was gradually getting a glimpse at the man under the arrogance and narcissism. She'd worked hard to break his walls down but then the Avengers came and he built them up again, at least twice as strong. One of the things that she did know about him though was that he blamed everything on himself. He was bound to be blaming himself for Steve bringing up the subject of Howard. And then he was probably also blaming himself for everything that his father ever did to him.<p>

Pepper reluctantly left Tony. She knew he was awake but there was a meeting that she couldn't cancel. She went onto the Avengers' communal floor first though to see if Steve was there. He was. He was reading a book on a sofa in the living room. She walked over to him and slapped him as hard as she could across the face. His head shot up and he stood, getting into a defensive pose.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Pepper asked. Concealing some of her anger although it was still obvious that she was angry. Steve relaxed slightly as his eyes went into focus and he realized that it was only Pepper.  
>"What did I do this time?" He asked, he sat down again. He wondered if Tony had moaned at her about him. He placed a hand to his cheek. It hadn't hurt too much but it was still a hard slap.<br>"Why did you feel the need to bring up the subject of Howard with Tony?!" She asked.  
>"I needed to know what he was like..." Steve said.<br>"No. You didn't _need _to know." Pepper said. "Since you've got here you've been nothing but hostile towards Tony." She said. She'd noticed how every conversation they had became a fight. All of them had. Steve opened his mouth to argue that Tony was the one who always started the fights but then Pepper spoke again. "Don't try and blame this on him." She said. Slightly softer. She didn't get a response from Steve.

"Were you aware that Howard was abusive towards him?" She asked. He looked at her for a moment before shaking his head.  
>"No.." He said. "Not until I spoke to Natasha..."<br>"And then did you talk to Tony again?" Pepper asked.  
>"I went to apologize to him." Steve said. Pepper nodded. Steve did at least have good intentions then. "But then we argued and I may have asked if Howard was abusive to him.." He said. Pepper was not amused.<br>"Don't ever even use that man's name again." She said in a tone of voice that even Tony never argued with. She thought for a moment. "When I went up there I found him in tears in his office." She said. She knew that Tony wouldn't be happy with her sharing that information but his team needed to know that he isn't the person who they thought he was.

Steve wasn't expecting that. He'd never seen Tony cry and for some reason he couldn't bring himself to believe that the man was capable of it. He had no idea how he was supposed to respond to that so he didn't.

Pepper sighed. She took her phone out and glanced at it. Noticing the time she excused herself and left. She couldn't afford to be late to this meeting. She went into the elevator, going to the business floors of the tower as oppose to the private floors that the Avengers and she lived in. She began to think about them. They were only here to develop trust and yet they all kept to themselves other than Clint and Natasha because there was some past behind them and Tony and Bruce because they were both geniuses and so spoke the same language that none of the others could understand.

She began to text Jarvis who would send replies as a text message. They developed a plan that would come to play as soon as all of the Avengers, including Tony, were both awake and in the tower.

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><p>Tony woke not long after falling asleep. The nightmares had been the worst that they had ever been and had come sooner than usual. They were about something new though, or old depending on how you look at it. Howard. He hadn't had nightmares about Howard since the man died. They were just as bad, if not worse, than he remembered them to be.<p>

It took him a little while longer than usual to come to his senses and realize that he wasn't in any danger. He sat on the edge of the bed, placing a hand to his forehead. After a couple of minutes just sitting on the bed he got up and showered and put clean clothes on.

Once he was done Jarvis told him that Pepper wanted him to go to the basement. He was curious as to why she wanted him to go there and so went mainly to discover the reason.

When he got there he was surprised to find that the other Avengers were also there but Pepper wasn't. "What's going on?" He asked. He noticed that Steve was avoiding looking in his direction.  
>"We were hoping you'd be able to tell us." Natasha said. He shook his head. He had no idea.<br>"Well, if there is nothing important I am going to leave." He said. "I have a lot of work to do." He turned back to the lift and pushed the call button. It didn't come. "Jarvis. What are you doing?" He asked, boredom and annoyance in his voice.  
>"Miss Potts has forbidden me to allow any of you to leave." Jarvis said, mimicking Tony's tone of voice. Tony glared at a camera.<p>

He thought for a moment. Pepper was obviously trying to do a team building exercise. Why did she pick the basement though? Why not the Avengers' floor? There was more to do in the basement. It even had a heated, indoor swimming pool. The only one on any of Tony's properties.

"Why?" Clint asked.  
>"Miss Potts believes that it will help your team building if you were to interact with each other. She and I both noticed that you wouldn't do that if we didn't help." Jarvis explained. Tony nearly laughed.<br>"Override." He said.  
>"You are unable to override Miss Potts' commands sir." Jarvis said.<br>"You son of a bitch." Tony said as he stared at a camera. "I'm guessing you're not going to help me override the override then." He said. If he was unable to override Jarvis then it meant that it was unlikely for Jarvis to do any of it.  
>"No sir." Jarvis said smugly.<p>

Tony knew that the others believed that he used Jarvis because he wasn't as smart as he bragged to be but they were wrong. He used Jarvis for speed. People seemed to forget that he made Jarvis in the first place. The AI himself knew that Tony would override the override he'd put in place but he hoped that it would take him a little while.

Tony sighed and moved though the basement, followed by the other Avengers to a room adjacent to the pool. He sat down on a sofa and got his phone out of his pocket. "Let's see what you've done to yourself then." He muttered as he accessed Jarvis' code.

The others began wandering around the basement. Clint practically squealed when he found the pool, he hadn't been swimming in way too long. He went back to Tony. "Hey." He said. Tony looked up from his phone. "Can we use the pool?" He asked. Tony shrugged.  
>"Jarvis, send Dummy here with swimming stuff for everyone." He said.<br>"He's on his way sir." Jarvis said. Tony went back to examining Jarvis' code.

About ten minutes later the bot arrived, his mechanical arm full of swimming trunks and one bikini. He dumped them by the pool and went back into elevator to go back to the lab.

The Avengers got changed into the swim wear and went into the warm pool. Tony didn't get into the pool, instead he moved to one of the chairs by the pool to be sociable although he wasn't paying any attention to the Avengers. He was wearing his T-shirt as well as his swimming trunks. He'd switched his phone out for a laptop and his fingers practically flew over the keys. It was still going a good hour or two. Jarvis had really outdone himself on this one. He didn't really mind too much, in fact he quite liked it. It gave him an actual challenge, too few things did that.

About half an hour in Thor, Clint and Bruce decided that he had to join them. He declined and went back to his work. Partly because he wanted to get back to his lab as soon as possible but mostly it was because he knew he wasn't ready to face large bodies of water where his face may be submerged. He shivered slightly at the thought but pushed it away before he had a panic attack.

After another quarter of an hour Thor and Clint tried to get him to join him again. He declined for a second time, this time rather rudely. Bruce got out and sat with him for company and because he knew that Tony worked better when he spoke to someone, it was one of the reasons that Jarvis was so developed. He found Tony's mind fascinating and loved hearing the genius talk about his work, even when Bruce himself didn't always understand what he was talking about.

The third time that Thor and Clint wanted Tony to join them they didn't bother asking as they knew the answer would be no. Thor picked him up as Clint took the laptop from him. His eyes widened as he realized what they were going to do. Only Bruce noticed the pure panic on his face.

"Guys, I don't think that's a good idea." He said.  
>"Think of it as a 'Team Building' activity." Clint said as Thor dropped Tony into the water.<p>

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><p><em>The water surrounded his face. He held his breath and struggled against the arms holding him down for as long as he could, water flying onto the car battery's wires and giving him small electric burns around his chest, but then he ran out of breath and accidentally inhaled a lungful of water. His body tried to cough it up but he just ended up swallowing more water. The hands weren't pulling him back up. This time he really was going to drown. He felt his body go limp before the blackness took over.<em>

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><p>Steve watched as Thor dumped Tony into the water. He and the other five watched as the man thrashed in the water it took him a moment before he realized that Tony wasn't going to begin to swim. "Get him out of there!" He yelled as he began to swim towards Tony. Bruce had jumped in as soon as he noticed Tony begin to panic. He was extremely close to hulking out and was only just able to keep the beast at bay. Thor and Clint jumped in as soon as Steve had yelled and Natasha also began to make her way towards the genius.<p>

By the time they'd gotten him out of the water he was unconscious. Steve began to pound on his chest, he knew that Tony had to cough up the water that was in his lungs.

After a small amount of time Tony coughed up a small amount of water, panic misting his eyes. A hand shot up to the reactor and when he didn't feel the wires of the battery he began to panic again. They'd taken the battery, the one thing that was keeping him alive. He looked at the faces staring at him and didn't see the Avengers, he saw the faces of his attackers back in Afghanistan.

He scrambled back, a hand covering the reactor as he moved away from them. He backed into a wall and brought his knees to his chest, hugging them with his head bowed. He was waiting for them to either drag him back to Yinsen or start to beat him. Maybe they'd just leave him to die from the shrapnel, they had taken his battery after all.

His chest wasn't hurting though. It should be hurting if the battery was gone. He took a few shaky, shallow breaths and then sensed someone begin to walk towards him. He tensed and tried to get further away but he couldn't. All thoughts of his chest left his mind as he began to think about what his attacker would do to him. He felt his heart pace quicken as the person placed a hand on him.

That wasn't right. This hand was gentle. Things weren't adding up. His chest wasn't hurting in the same way it should be if the battery was taken. Instead it was the more bearable pain that he'd gotten used to of the metal shaft that the battery wires would go into. He hesitantly uncurled as he realized that whoever had their hand on his back wasn't going to attack him. He placed a hand onto his chest, expecting to feel a hole through the fabric of his shirt. Instead his fingers met cold metal through the material.

The Arc Reactor. He'd made that to replace the battery after agreeing to build them their stupid missile. He turned his face to focus on the person who's hand was on his back. He focused on the person. They weren't one of his attackers. No. He knew this person. Bruce. How was Bruce in the cave? Did they get him too? Bruce was talking to him but he wasn't paying attention any to the words.

He moved his gaze to the rest room. He wasn't in the cave. He was in the basement of his tower. "Fuck." He whispered as he came back to reality. He shrugged Bruce's hand off of his shoulder before shakily getting to his feet, using the wall for support. He ignored the Avengers, the wall was suddenly extremely interesting.

Once he'd recovered enough to move without immediately collapsing he rushed to the elevator. Jarvis didn't wait for orders before he opened the doors. His master's safety was more important than some stupid team building exercise. He stopped it at Tony's floor. The man got out and collapsed onto the bed.

He wasn't sure how he was going to get out of this one. How he was going to convince the Avengers that he was fine. How he was going to explain why the water had triggered a flashback without letting them know about what happened while he was in Afghanistan.

He should have just got into the pool when they had first asked him. At least that way he'd have been able to make sure that his face didn't get covered by water and possibly avoided the whole situation.

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><p><strong>What did you guys think?<strong>

**Please leave a review or a suggestion! It really makes my day when I see a new one on any of my chapters!**

**Locking them all up in a room for a team building exercise was a suggestion from _Kampe. _Thank you so much for suggesting that!  
><strong>

**Well, thank you for reading! You're awesome!**

_**Ebil.**_


	8. Chapter 8

**I am so sorry about my absence! I am back now though and hopefully we shall go back to our usual schedule of every Monday you guys get a new chapter.**

**I have changed the formatting slightly thanks to a suggestion/request that I do from _kiwi8fruit. _Please tell me if you prefer this one over the old one.**

**This chapter is dedicated to both my 60th reviewer and my 70th reviewer!**

**_SnarryMoreidLover _- Yeah, everyone else just needs to be a bit nicer and less idiotic.. I think that they believe that Tony would have said something if he was tortured. Of course, this is Tony and so he wouldn't..**

_**Kampe -**_ **It was a great idea, thanks so much for suggesting it!**

**Anywho, this is for you and I hope you like it!**

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><p>Steve was pounding on Tony's chest, he needed to cough up the water in his lungs. After a short period of time the genius coughed up some of the water in his lungs. The Avengers all released breaths they hadn't realized they were holding. Tony was alive and okay.<p>

They then noticed the fear in his eyes and the way he was protectively covering the Arc Reactor. Natasha recognized what was happening. "He's having a flashback!" She told the others, a small amount of panic and worry finding their way into her voice. Steve moved to step towards him but Bruce stopped him. They weren't sure what had caused it.

They watched as he hastily backed away from them, into a wall. "What do we do?" Clint asked, not bothering to mask the panic in his guilt ridden state.

"He needs to come back to reality." Natasha said. Bruce cautiously moved towards him.

"Tony." He said softly. "It's okay Tony, you're safe." He gently and timidly placed a hand on his friend's back. He wasn't sure if the man could hear him but he flinched at the contact. "You're okay Tony." Bruce said. He sighed and kept his hand on Tony's back. "You're home, in the tower." Tony moved his knees and arms so he could get to the Reactor. Bruce kept saying soothing words as the others watched.

Tony turned his head and stared at Bruce. Bruce smiled at him and continued to say gentle and kind words even though the look of fear in Tony's eyes was chilling. Tony furrowed his brow and a mix of panic and confusion shot through his eyes. Tony then looked at the room and the other Avengers. They could see the haunted look in his eyes. It was a look that didn't belong on Tony's face.

Tony slowly came back to reality. "Fuck." He mumbled. He shrugged his shoulder so Bruce moved his hand and began to move away from Tony a little. They'd seen him in a state that he would never have wanted anyone to see him in, let alone the five of them. He shakily got to his feet, using the wall to help. Bruce had to stop himself from rushing forward to help him. He knew that Tony wouldn't like that.

Tony refused to look at any of them. He was staring at the wall while he leaned on it. After a few minutes of silence he moved to the elevator which Jarvis didn't hesitate to open for him.

After he had left the Avengers were silent for a moment.

Clint felt guilty. He knew it was his fault that Tony had the flashback and he wasn't sure how he could apologize to him. He shouldn't have pushed the older man into getting into the water.

Bruce was also feeling guilty, he could have stopped Clint and Thor, told them to leave Tony alone, been more firm. He could have stopped his friend from getting hurt. The Hulk was threatening to make an appearance so he focused on calming himself instead of Tony.

Natasha was angry. Angry at Clint and Thor for pushing Tony. Angry at Steve and Bruce for not stopping them. Angry at Tony for not telling them that water was a trigger and angry at herself for not realizing. She was a spy, it was her job to notice the things that other people wouldn't. She knew what a flashback felt like and knew Tony's personality enough to know that he'd lock himself somewhere he felt safe. His room or his lab were the most likely places. She was confused though. Tony had had both a nightmare and a flashback, it was looking as if he may have PTSD. That would have been fine except the fact that Tony was showing no symptoms in his everyday life. She made a vow to herself to keep a closer eye on him and get to the bottom of it.

Steve was wondering what just happened. He recognized that it was a flashback, he knew what they were like. He wasn't sure why Tony, of all people, had one. He suspected it was something to do with Afghanistan but he knew how little they knew about Tony and that Tony chose everything they did know about him very carefully.

Thor's facial expression became relatively unreadable. It was times like this where the others remembered that he was hundreds, if not thousands, of years old. There was very little that he hadn't seen. He himself had never experienced what humans called PTSD but he did know what it was. He hadn't expected Tony to have been through anything traumatic enough to induce it. He didn't know what could have triggered a flashback since there was no war or battle. He decided it could have been the water although he had no idea how or why that would have triggered it.

"Why would the water trigger that?" Thor asked, not booming for once.

"It's possible.." Natasha started. She took a deep breath. "It's possible that Tony may have been water boarded." She said softly. She couldn't really see any other explanation that would warrant such a strong reaction. "It's a kind of torture where they either cover you face with a cloth and pour water over it or dunk your head into a tank of water." Thor was disgusted. He couldn't even begin to imagine why humans would do that to others.

"This could have just been a flashback." Bruce said. "It doesn't mean PTSD." He was being optimistic because someone had to be and Tony was his friend. He wasn't going to let them kick him off of the Avengers any time soon.

"PTSD?" Steve asked, unsure of what that was.

"Shell shock." Clint said, knowing that Steve would know what that was.

Steve did. He had known quite a few soldiers to suffer from it after time on the battlefield. He wasn't sure what it would have meant if Tony did have it though. He'd be a risk to the whole team.

"What do we do?" Steve asked.

"Well, Clint and Thor should apologize to him." Natasha said firmly. Clint turned away. He knew he was going to have to apologize and he had planned on doing it. "And we'll see what happens from there." She said. The others nodded. There was no point bringing it up since Tony wouldn't want to talk about it and there was a chance another flashback would be triggered.

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><p>Tony lay upon the bed. The room only lit by the calming blue of his Arc Reactor. He placed a hand on it. It was the one thing that was keeping him alive but also the one thing stopping him from being plunged into the welcome embrace of darkness. He took his shirt off, twisted the Reactor and pulled it out, making sure not to disconnect any of the wires. He held it in one hand, with one sharp tug the wires would disconnect and he'd finally be able to go to the peaceful darkness that he'd been denied of for so long.<p>

But he knew that that would be selfish. The most selfish thing he could do. He sighed and placed the reactor on his chest, to the side of the hole that it belonged in. He lay there for a few minutes, just thinking about whether he should tug it out or place it back in. If he tugged it out then he wouldn't have to worry about anything again, he'd be free. If he didn't then he'd just continue to live the lie, continue to try to please the whole world, continue to try to make his dad proud of him.

The decision was quite easy really. He was already on borrowed time. He should be dead and the Reactor just reminded him of that fact. He didn't deserve to die. That was a kind of peace that he knew he didn't deserve. He had to continue living, continue to be reminded of the fact that he deserved neither life or death. He took the Reactor and placed it back where it belonged.

He sighed and got up off of the bed, telling Jarvis to turn the lights on. The AI did so gradually, so as not to temporarily blind Tony. Tony bandaged his chest, making sure that the light from the Reactor was hidden, it was a thing that he did every time he went into the public since it would be dangerous for anyone to know about the Reactor. He was a lot more wary about that since the Obadiah incident. He then put a suit on and a pair of dark sunglasses.

He had Jarvis organize a flight to Malibu. He needed to get away and he hadn't worked on the cars for a while. He knew he'd have to leave the bots in New York for the time being, it was just too much hassle to have them moved. If he was going to stay there for more than a week he'd organize them to be flown over.

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><p>"So we should just pretend that it didn't happen!?" Steve asked, annoyance in his voice.<p>

"No." Natasha said. "We just shouldn't bring it up."

"But this is important!" Steve argued. "If it's not just a one time thing then it could endanger the team!"

"The Captain has a point Tash.." Clint said. "If this does turn out to be PTSD then he might have a flashback on a mission - when we need him."

"When we _need _him." Bruce quoted. "We need Tony, okay. You may not realize it but he's a very important part of this team." He sighed. "If you confront him then he'll probably withdraw even further back into his shell..."

The others noticed Bruce's use of the word '_you_'. It was clear that he would have no part in it.

"Look, Bruce, we understand that Stark is your friend and quite probably the only one of us you trust but we need to know. We at least need to know how likely it is that he may have an attack on a mission." Steve said.

"Don't you think that he'd have told us if it was something that would put lives, other than his own, in danger?!" Bruce snapped back at the soldier. "And don't try to act like you're perfect." He directed this to all of them. "None of us are perfect. We all have our demons but I don't see any of you telling any of the rest of us what yours are." He felt the Hulk flash through his body but managed to subdue the beast. He turned to the elevator and left the four people staring after him.

He got off the elevator on his floor, dried quickly and put some fresh clothes on. He decided he'd visit Tony, to check that he was okay.

"Jarvis, where's Tony?" He asked.

"Sir is on his floor, about to leave for Malibu Dr. Banner." The AI told Bruce who silently cursed. He rushed back to the lift and took it to Tony's floor.

When he arrived he almost bumped into Tony as the man was just heading to the elevator.

"Bruce." Tony said, clenching his jaw.

"Tony.." Bruce said, rather weakly, in return.

"Why are you here?" Tony asked, his voice neutral.

"You can't leave." Bruce said. "Who will I do science with?"

"I think you'll find that I can in fact leave my own home, thank you very much." Tony said, pushing past Bruce into the elevator. Bruce followed.

"Tony.." He started. Tony didn't respond, Bruce decided that he was probably ignoring him. "I know that you don't trust any of the others yet and neither do I but I do trust you." He sighed. "I'm not going to make you stay but can you please just think this over?" He wasn't sure how much of that Tony had listened to, if any but he knew that he needed to at least try. "Jarvis." He said. "Can you stop at my floor please."

"Of course Dr. Banner." Jarvis responded. Not too long afterwards the doors opened.

"Just. Please think about it." Bruce requested one last time before he got out.

Tony sighed as he leaned against the back of the elevator once the doors had closed. "Jarvis." He said softly.

"Yes sir?" The AI asked.

"Cancel the flight." He ordered. "And take me down to the workshop.

"Of course Sir." Jarvis said. He took the elevator down to the workshop where the bots happily greeted Tony.

Tony took his sunglasses off and placed them on a desk. He then sat in one of the chairs, absently stroking the cold metal of Dummy's arm. He took off his suit jacket and tie, unbuttoning the top button on his shirt. He sighed deeply, in thought or defeat.

"Jarvis." He said, sitting up straighter, looking at the monitors in front of him. "Pull up the Avengers' files and show me what they're doing now." He figured that since he wasn't going to take a break in Malibu he may as well do a little more research into his house mates. He did still have a lot to learn about each of them.

Jarvis pulled up the files and the camera images. Clint, Natasha, Steve and Thor were on the communal floor while Bruce was in his room, reading. Tony pretty much ignored Bruce's feed since the scientist wasn't doing anything too interesting. He instead focused on the others.

Steve was sitting on a sofa, reading a history book. Probably doing more to catch up on the seventy years that he was a capsicle. Clint and Natasha were talking to each other, probably about secret spy things, Tony didn't really care about that though, considering the fact that he could hack into practically any system if there was a secret he desperately needed to know. Thor was also not doing anything too interesting. He seemed to be attempting to figure out how a phone worked.

Tony sighed. He told Jarvis to take the feed off and to make the files larger. The AI did so silently.

As Tony read through all of the files that they had on the Avengers he made mental notes about some things, like the fact that Steve was still uneasy on planes and in the cold.

He stopped after a bit and turned the screens off. He told Jarvis to turn all of the lights off and sat in the dark, the soft light of his Reactor masked through the thick layers of bandages.

He smiled and closed his eyes. It was moments like this where he could pretend that nothing had ever happened. That he didn't have a lump of metal in his chest, making every breath he took ache. That he wasn't water boarded or tortured to make weapons. That he was normal.

He opened his eyes again. That was just pretend though. He was never _normal. _He had always been a disappointment and had never been truly happy. Probably would never know what true happiness even felt like.

He didn't deserve to know.

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><p><strong>It would be awesome if you guys would tell me what you thought of that chapter.<strong>

**Please do leave a suggestion in the comments if there is anything you'd like to see me do.**

**As always, thanks for reading!**

_**Ebil.**_


	9. Chapter 9

**Well, it's that time of the week again folks!**

**This chapter is dedicated to my 80th reviewer! _Lucydolly22_!**

_**Lucydolly22 **_**- Tony's depression shall be dealt with soon. Well, soon-ish. Not for at least one more chapter (excluding this one). Maybe two but It will be dealt with. I proof read and edit like crazy but I didn't do as much in that last chapter as I finished it pretty much as soon as I needed to release it. I am thinking about getting a beta but for now it's just me. I am glad that you liked the last chapter even though it could be better! ^_^**

**This is for you!**

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><p>The week had been slow. After the whole flashback incident the Avengers were staying even further away from Tony than usual. Not that he complained. He liked the peace of being alone in his lab with just the bots for company. It reminded him of how everything was before the Avengers came to live with him.<p>

He was listening to some extremely loud AC/DC while working on a suit when the music suddenly stopped. He put down the part of the armor he was working on.

"Jarvis?" He asked. When he got no response he began to panic slightly. "Jarvis?!" He asked again.

"I'm sorry." A man's voice said. He recognized that voice. "But your little AI friend is offline." Justin Hammer. How the hell did Hammer manage to shut down Jarvis?! He had to be working for or with someone but who in their right mind would work with an idiot like Hammer?

"What do you want Hammer?!" He asked, masking panic with boredom.

"Oh, not much." Hammer said. "Just your.. Cooperation." Tony stared at him.

"Why on earth would I 'cooperate'?" He asked. It was obvious that Hammer believed to have something that would force Tony into submission and Tony really wanted to know what it was.

"Because." Hammer said. "If you don't then I will have no choice but to kill all of your little friends one by one until you do." Tony tensed. If he didn't cooperate then that would technically be more blood on his hands. The Avengers weren't going to be easy to take down but it definitely wouldn't be impossible. "Maybe I'll start with your CEO."

Tony couldn't help it. He saw red and punched Hammer in the face before he could say anything more. The punch didn't appear to do anything although Hammer did tentatively touch his nose where Tony had hit it. Hammer then laughed. It was a shallow and cold laugh with no actual humor in it.

The laugh irritated Tony but he didn't have any time to react to it before he was hit around the head with a metal pipe, instantly knocking him out.

Just at that moment Steve entered the lab. He had realized that something had to be wrong since Jarvis was never offline. His eyes adjusted quickly to the darkness and he saw Tony, unconscious, being carried by a pretty big guy. Another man who looked pretty wimpy was also in the room, seemingly bossing the other around and they were heading towards Steve. Towards the only exit.

Steve knew he had to do something. He couldn't let them take Tony away, no matter how much he disliked the genius. He didn't have his shield on him and so couldn't use that to defeat the men but he was very good in hand to hand combat so he decided to go down that route.

He ran towards and punched the man who was carrying Tony. The man had no reaction and his skin felt like a solid wall of metal against Steve's fist. That may have been because it was metal. How had Steve not noticed that the thing carrying Tony was a robot. He silently cursed before the robot hit him.

It wasn't enough to knock the super soldier out but it was certainly enough to give him a concussion. He was hit again, this time with more power and he did get knocked out because of it.

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><p>When Steve woke he found himself to be in a small cave-like room with a single door and no windows, lit only by a hanging light bulb. He looked around and saw Tony, still unconscious and looking surprisingly peaceful.<p>

He was surprised by the fact that they were not chained or tied down to prevent their movement but was not about to complain about it.

He was wandering around the room, getting to grips with the size and trying to figure out why they were there when Tony suddenly began to have a panic attack. Steve was very unsure of what he was supposed to do in this situation.

He walked over to the smaller man. "Tony.." He said cautiously. "Tony, it's okay.. You're okay…" It was pretty obvious that he had no idea what he was doing although his voice did seem to be getting through to Tony.

Before long the genius was relatively okay again. He hid the fear and panic he felt from being in the room that was so similar to the cave and replaced it with confidence. He tried to ignore his surroundings, he didn't need any reminders of his three months in hell. He wasn't sure why Steve was there but he didn't really care if he was being honest.

He looked around and spotted three cameras.

"_That's right. Smile!". _

He studied one and was able to determine that it had a microphone built into it as well as the camera. Good.

"Hammer." He said to a camera with confidence in his voice that he was lacking in his mind. "What do you want?!"

"Ah, so you're finally awake." Justin Hammer's voice said through speakers that Tony had failed to notice.

"Who is that?" Steve asked Tony.

"An idiot." Tony responded before bringing his attention back to the camera. "You didn't answer my question."

"I don't want anything from you Mr. Stark." Hammer said.

"Then why bring us here?" Tony asked. Part of him feared the answer he would get. If Hammer didn't want him to make technology for him then why go to the trouble of kidnapping him?

"I merely wanted you to be out of the picture." Hammer told him. "And I had heard a rumor about your time in Afghanistan and wanted to test if it was true or not. Considering that panic attack you had earlier I am going to guess that it was."

Tony took a deep breath. This was bad. "What good will it do to remind me of that?" He asked.

Hammer laughed. "It will be fun to break you." He said. "Now, I must excuse myself. There are things I have to do." And then the room went quiet.

Steve looked at Tony. "What did he mean?" He asked. "About Afghanistan?" Tony glared at Steve for a moment.

"I was held in Afghanistan for three months by a terrorist organisation that called themselves the Ten Rings." He said.

"Why?" Steve asked. He knew he shouldn't have but he was curious and this was the most that Tony had ever said to any of them about his experience.

"It was just ransom." He said. It was what he always told people if they were insensitive enough to ask. He really hoped that Steve wouldn't push any more, he wasn't sure how much he could take.

"But they didn't send a ransom video or letter to anyone." Steve said, he received another glare from Tony. "What really happened to you?"

Tony shut his eyes tightly, trying not to think about it. "That's my story and I'm sticking to it." He said through clenched teeth. Steve got the hint and dropped the subject.

That night Tony didn't sleep. He knew that if he did his memories and nightmares would be worse than they ever were before. He watched Steve sleep, envying the peaceful look on his face. He wondered what Captain America dreams of. Maybe the 1940s and the people he used to know or maybe it was just random things.

He couldn't help himself think back to Yinsen and his death.

"_Don't waste your life."_

He felt tears run down his cheeks. He had tried so hard not to waste his life after that. He had stopped making weapons and even became Iron Man. He still couldn't help but feel that he had failed Yinsen. Looking back at it he knew that it should have been him who died. God knows he deserved it.

He wasn't sure how long he cried for over the memory of Yinsen's death but he wasn't by the time Steve woke.

Steve noticed Tony's red, bloodshot eyes and he knew that the man had been crying. "What's wrong?" He asked. Tony turned away.

"Just thinking of an old friend." He said, his voice shaking slightly.

"That would be a Mr. Ho Yinsen if my sources are correct." Hammer's voice said through the speakers. "Killed by your own weapons." Tony clenched his jaw.

"Shut up!" He shouted, throwing a rock at a camera. The lens cracked. He could tell that wherever Hammer was he was smirking.

"Who is Ho Yinsen?" Steve asked curiously.

"You mean Tony hasn't told you?" Hammer asked. "Tut tut Stark, I thought you were meant to trust the Captain." He paused, expecting a response but getting none. "Yinsen was held in the same cave as Tony. Before he was killed by Stark Industries firearms that is."

"What is he talking about?" Steve asked Tony while looking at the camera. "You've never mentioned this guy before." He didn't get a response so turned to look at Tony. To his surprise the man was sitting, leaning on a wall hugging his knees. His head was bowed. "Tony?" Steve asked softly.

When Hammer didn't speak any more Steve assumed he had left. He walked over to Tony and sat next to him. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to.

He closed his eyes and leant his head against the wall. As he did he thought about his life. He had lost so much but his spirit had never broken. Even in the twenty first century where he wasn't sure of what was going on he knew he still had a place in the world. He was wanted in the world. Seen as a hero in fact. He smiled lightly and opened his eyes.

He turned his head and stared at Tony. The genius had been through a lot and Steve respected him for how strong he was. He could never tell him that though. It was clear that Tony despised Steve and the genius would probably just mock Steve if he told him.

He still couldn't believe that Howard had abused him. Howard wasn't like that. He was a kind man and a futurist. What reason would he have to harm his own child? Perhaps he believed that Tony deserved it but in Steve's opinion no one deserved abuse. Even an arrogant, self centered genius.

He wanted to know what had happened to Tony all those years ago in Afghanistan but he couldn't ask. It was obvious that whatever had happened had damaged him. Steve would even go as far as to say broken him but a part of him believed that Tony was already broken long before that. Another believed that he wasn't at all and that he was lying about Howard but what did Tony have to gain from lying about his father. He obviously didn't want attention from it, he got enough of that as it was.

He turned his head away again. He wanted to comfort the genius but he couldn't. Tony would assume it was patronization and that was the last thing he wanted. He didn't want Tony to hate him. He didn't know what he did to cause the man to have so much anger towards him. Sure, on the helicarrier they had fought but Tony had started that. Maybe Steve shouldn't have said what he had but there was an equal amount of hateful and insulting comments on Tony's side too. Steve sighed heavily.

After a few hours of nothingness Tony looked up and turned to face his childhood hero. He cleared his throat softly and Steve faced him. It was like he was seeing Tony for the first time. The man didn't look like his usual self. He looked glum and depressed. His eyes seemed almost void of emotion, any that was in them reflected the look on his face. He smiled weakly at Steve before looking away again.

"It wasn't for ransom." He said softly. Steve had expected as much but the fact that Tony was actually talking about it surprised him somewhat. He stayed silent, knowing that if he pushed Tony to talk about it he wouldn't. "Jarvis has always told me I should tell someone about my life. Other than him." He closed his eyes, causing tears to spill.

"Tony.." Steve said. "You don-"

"I do." Tony said firmly. "I.. I have to do this." He sighed. He had to tell someone and he knew he couldn't tell someone who was actually likely to care. He needed to tell someone who wouldn't give a shit. Someone who hated him but also wouldn't tell anyone else. Good old Captain Rogers seemed like the perfect candidate. Sure, he'd probably use it against him some time in the future but for once the futurist couldn't bring himself to care about the future. This also seemed as good a time as any. As long as he kept his voice too quiet for the microphones to pick up.

"Take your time then." Steve said. "Don't tell me everything at once. Neither of us would be able to handle that."

Tony smiled weakly at the logic in the Captain's words. "Okay." He said. The smile vanished from his face as he began. "I guess it started when I was four." His voice was uneasy. "That was when I built my first circuit board and when Howard started to see that I was taking after him." He paused. "I guess none of this would have happened if I was normal but I just had to be a genius."

Steve wanted to tell Tony that it wasn't his fault. That he shouldn't blame himself for his father's actions but before he could Tony continued.

"He kept trying to get me to be smarter, to do things that I couldn't do." He squeezed his eyes shut at the memory. "When I couldn't do it he would insult me, hit me sometimes." He felt the tears on his cheeks. "Howard.. Howard was a drunk. He was also always preoccupied and didn't have time to be a father to a useless idiot like me." His voice quivered on the last part and he fell silent again. His head in his knees.

Steve took in what he had just been told. Howard was a drunk. Not only that but he physically abused Tony as well as emotionally. Steve was angry at the man who had once been his friend though. Nothing should make him so preoccupied that he couldn't spend time with his son. Nothing. He also couldn't help but think that Tony was maybe quoting from Howard directly in the last sentence he had said.

What Tony needed right now was a friend. He may not realize it but Steve did. He tentatively put an arm around Tony's shoulders. "It's okay." He said softly. "We're going to get out of this. You don't have to tell me any more."

Tony looked up and shook his head. "I'm not telling you this because I think I'm not going to get out." He said. "I'm telling you it because I have to tell _someone_ and you happen to be trapped with me and unable to leave if you don't like what I'm saying." He smirked, his face returning to an expression that was normal for him. "You can always ignore me though."

Steve looked at Tony and removed his arm. "Maybe I'll do just that." He said before he began to do some push ups. If he was going to be trapped in a room with someone who couldn't decide if they wanted to open up or shut him out indefinitely then he may as well keep in shape.

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><p><strong>Be honest with me here. Were you expecting any of the events in this chapter to happen? I know I wasn't.<strong>

**This is what happens when you write at 2am...**

**So, thoughts? Opinions? Suggestions? - Be sure to leave a review!**

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**As always, thank you for your undying support!**

_**Ebil.**_


	10. Chapter 10

**I don't know how you guys do it. 100 faves and over 200 follows!**

**First off, I would like to thank my amazing beta _Mircosedy_!**

**Secondly, this chapter is dedicated to my 90th reviewer.**

_**The Sherlockian Vulcan - **_**I would write longer chapters but I sometimes struggle at reaching my 2.5k goal. I think that that's a pretty good length for a chapter though..**

**This is for you!**

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><p>The next time Tony decided to talk about his past was a few hours later. "He spoke about you a lot," he said with a normal voice, no fear like when he was speaking before. Steve wasn't sure if he should take that as a good thing or not.<p>

"Yeah?" Steve asked. He glanced at Tony but continued to do sit ups.

Tony nodded. "Yep. You were the perfect Steven Rogers." Tony laughed a little. "You were also my childhood hero," he said, smiling at the memory of all the Captain America action figures and merchandise he had. He had to get his mind off of the fact that he was in a cave very similar to the one in Afghanistan somehow. Talking seemed to be working.

"I would never have guessed that the great Tony Stark would have liked Captain America," Steve said, smirking.

"Of course, that was before I found out how much of a jerk you are." Tony said. Steve glared at him and threw a rock near his head. "What was that for?! You know it's true."

"I am not a jerk." Steve said. "If anyone is, it's you."

That was mean. Tony frowned and looked away. "He compared me to you a lot, always asking me why I couldn't be more like you." He frowned at the memories. "It was like you were his first and favorite son. I was merely a bad replacement." He could feel the tears prick in his eyes but refused to let them fall. "He never stopped looking for you."

Steve wasn't sure what he should say to that. The resentment Tony had for him suddenly made sense. "I- I'm sorry.."

"What for?" Tony asked. "It's not your fault." _As much as I'd love to have someone to blame._

"It's not yours either," Steve said. He was finally beginning to see Tony for who he was under the layers of protective masks he wore.

Tony wished he could believe that. He really did. He didn't though, not for a second. It was his fault that he wasn't the perfect son. Maybe if he'd done sports and acted more like Captain America things would have been different. But he hadn't, and that was his own fault. He didn't respond, but after a moment of silence he got up to see if he could figure out how to get out.

"It's too quiet," he muttered some time later. He disliked silence as it meant that his thoughts seemed louder and were unable to be blocked out.

Steve nodded in agreement. "How long do you think it will be before we get out of here?"

"Well, considering how much of an idiot Hammer is, I wouldn't say it would be too long." He paused. "But the fact that Hammer is obviously not working alone makes me worried."

"Worried?"

"Yes. Whoever he's working with knows information about me that I haven't told anyone other than Jarvis. They were able to hack into and shut J down so it would make sense for them to know everything about me." Tony sighed. He was suddenly very vulnerable. "If _any _of this information gets out to the public then I'm as good as dead," he muttered.

"Tony.. What happened to you in Afghanistan?" Steve asked.

Flashes of images shot through Tony's mind as he went into another panic attack. Steve, again, had no idea what to do. He just repeated the words he'd said the first time until Tony came back.

After catching his breath for a moment, Tony spoke. "I don't like to talk about it," he said quietly.

"Why not?" Steve asked.

"Because whenever I think about it for too long I get either a panic attack or a flashback," Tony said with possibly a little too much hostility in his voice.

"Okay.." Steve said. Was it possible that Tony did actually have PTSD? It would make sense. He wasn't sure if it would do any good in asking but he wanted to know. "Tony, do you have PTSD?" he asked.

Tony looked away from the super soldier. "Only about Afghanistan and the wormhole," he said honestly and quite quietly for him.

Steve had been sort of expecting Afghanistan but the wormhole was not something he'd expected. "The wormhole?" he found himself asking from curiosity.

Tony closed his eyes and saw the huge expanse of space, saw how small he was, how small everything was, in comparison and just how alone he was. He felt with certainty that he was going to die. His eyes shot open from slight panic. "Yes." He said softly.

"What was so traumatic about that?" Steve asked, genuinely confused. He didn't see how space could be traumatic in any way.

Tony looked at him. Someone really needed to teach Steve to think before he spoke. '_Other than the fact that everyone in the world thought I was going to die, including me. Pepper not answering her phone and the suit going completely offline leaving me to look at just how big the universe really is for a split second in complete silence before my Arc Reactor went offline and I passed out? Nothing.' _He thought to himself, his breathing becoming more erratic as he remembered.

Usually at this point Jarvis would be advising him to take deep breaths but Jarvis wasn't there to help him. Fortunately, as idiotic as he could be, Steve was there. "Tony," he said. "Calm down. Panicking isn't going to help us get out of here."

Tony attempted to block Steve out. He knew that panicking wasn't going to help. He was trying his hardest not to panic but Steve mentioning panicking was making him more inclined to panic.

"Just.. Breathe," Steve instructed. "Take some deep breathes.. In… and out…" He demonstrated a deep breath for Tony, who did begin to relax as he took control of his breathing.

Tony didn't say anything. Steve didn't either. He knew that it was his fault that Tony almost had another panic attack but he still didn't see how space could be so terrible. It seemed like the sort of thing Tony would love to see.

Maybe under different circumstances.

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><p>Back at the Tower the others were wondering what had happened to Steve, Tony and Jarvis.<p>

"Tony would never shut Jarvis down," Bruce said. "Something has to be wrong."

"I agree," Thor said. "We should try to find friends Tony and Steve."

"They're Avengers. They can take care of themselves," Clint said, not looking away from the TV. "Besides, I'm sure they're fine. Tony probably shut the computer down for repairs or something."

"'The computer' has a name. Jarvis," Bruce said. "And he wouldn't do that without telling us."

Natasha looked at the team. She could see that Bruce at least was truly worried. "Look, Bruce knows Tony best and if he says that this in uncharacteristic then it's uncharacteristic." Bruce looked at her thankfully. "Were there any signs of a struggle in the lab?" she asked.

"I can't get down there without the codes or Jarvis," Bruce told her.

"Let me guess," Clint said, "Tony is the only person with the codes?"

"Actually, no," Pepper said as she entered the room. "I have them too."

"How convenient," Clint said under his breath. Natasha glared at him.

"Can you let us into the lab then?" Bruce asked Pepper. She nodded and they all went to the elevator, some more reluctantly than others.

"I'm sure that everything's okay," Clint groaned, receiving a glare from everyone else.

"I hope you're right," Natasha said. "For your sake."

Pepper punched a code into a panel on the elevator and it began to go down. The elevator journey was tense, the only noise being Clint's occasional complaint.

When they got to the bottom they weren't surprised to see that all the lights were off. Pepper quickly turned on the lights and they found that the door separating the lab from the small room where the elevator was was open.

Pepper cautiously entered the lab. There were obvious signs of a scuffle. Glass was shattered on the floor where beakers had been knocked over and there was a small amount of blood on the floor.

Bruce quickly took a blood sample and put it under a microscope.

"You were saying..?" Natasha asked Clint.

"So, I was wrong," he said. "What happened here?"

"Looks like Tony was knocked out pretty easily but then Steve entered the lab for some reason and he tried to fight but was also knocked out after bleeding a little."

"How do you know it's Steve's blood?" Clint asked.

"Steve's blood has the Super Soldier serum in it," Bruce said. "Something I am quite familiar with."

Pepper was quite obviously scared for Tony so Bruce tried to comfort her. "He'll be fine," he said. "We'll find them." She looked at him gratefully.

"Who would want to take son of Stark?" Thor asked.

"Does he have any enemies?" Natasha asked.

Pepper thought for a moment. "None that could get him," she told them.

"Are you sure?" Clint asked.

"Well, there is Justin Hammer.." she said. "But he's in prison and even if he got out there is no way he'd be able to override Jarvis."

"Until we know for certain, he's the main suspect then," Natasha said. "It may be that he's working with someone else."

"What prison is he in? We should check if he's still there," Bruce said.

Pepper told them and they all made their way there in uniform, other than Bruce, who just went in his normal clothes. He took Steve's shield with him, though. He knew that the Captain would want it when they found them. Pepper stayed at the tower despite her wanting to go with them. They had all told her that it would be too dangerous.

They went into one of Tony's private jets. Clint was piloting.

When they got to the prison, they were greeted by the warden, who was surprised to see them but took them to Hammer's cell when requested. He was gone.

"I don't know how this could have happened," the warden said nervously.

"Did anyone ever visit him?" Natasha asked.

"Not that I can recall," the warden said. He seemed to think for a moment before talking again. "Although there was one visit about a week ago."

"Who was it?" Natasha asked.

"I can't remember. They only stayed for a minute before leaving anyway," the warden told her.

"Do you keep records of the visitors?" Bruce asked. The warden nodded. "Where are they?"

They were led through the halls and into a server room. The guard who was stationed there went onto the computers and brought up the visitation logs.

"There's nothing here about someone visiting Hammer," he told the warden and the Avengers.

"Are you sure?" Bruce asked. The guard nodded. "Can you see if anyone has hacked into the system?"

"I'm really not good enough at computing to know how to do that, sir," the guard said. Bruce nodded in understanding.

"Unless we get SHIELD involved, we're not going to know who visited Hammer," he told the others.

"Can't you see if anyone hacked it?" Clint asked.

"Tony is the one who can do things with technology. Not me," Bruce told Clint.

"But you're smart," Clint said.

"I'm a physicist," Bruce told him.

"You two shut up," Natasha said. "Thank you for the help," she said to the warden and the guard before leading the others out of the prison.

"So, either no one visited Hammer and he escaped by himself, or someone is working hard to cover their tracks," she said once they were in the jet, heading back to the tower.

"Who is this son of Hammer?" Thor asked.

"I have no idea, I think Tony put him in prison for something to do with robots a year or two back," Bruce said.

"So why would someone want to break him out?" Clint asked.

"A mutual hatred to Tony maybe?" Natasha asked.

"It's possible," Bruce said.

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><p>Tony sighed. He couldn't figure out any way out and all he could find to be happy about was that Hammer hadn't replaced the Arc Reactor with a car battery. He touched the glowing bit of technology in his chest under his shirt, remembering making the very first one with Yinsen.<p>

That had taken time and a lot of resources and Tony hadn't even been sure that it was going to work. Not that he was complaining that it had.

It still hurt him every time he breathed and he couldn't take extremely deep breaths as it was pressed right against his lungs. He had gotten used to the pain a long time ago though and barely noticed it anymore.

He was finding it increasingly difficult to take his mind off of Afghanistan so he began to talk to Steve again, not really caring if the man was paying attention.

"He sent me off to boarding school when I was eight," he said, lying with his back on the cold stone floor with his eyes closed. "I was happy, it meant I could get away from him." He paused. "I never saw Jarvis again after that, though."

"Isn't Jarvis your AI?" Steve asked. Tony opened his eyes and sat up.

"Edwin Jarvis was my butler and my only friend," he said. "Jarvis is named after him."

"Oh.." Steve said. "What happened after you went to boarding school?"

"I went on to study at MIT, made Dummy and got my first degree by the time I was 17," Tony said. "Of course, that still wasn't enough to make Howard proud of me." Tony stopped talking.

Steve waited for him to talk again in silence.

"And then they died," Tony said. "I was told that it was instant and neither of them felt any pain when they.. Moved on. I was angry. I wanted him to suffer. I didn't want her to die though, she'd done nothing wrong." Tony felt the tears roll down his cheeks. "That's when I invested in my first pair of sunglasses. The press thought I wore them to hide my tears and I guess they were partly right. I didn't want them to see the tears I shed over Maria. The main reason I wore them was so they wouldn't see the lack of feeling in my eyes when I spoke about Howard at the funeral though." He lay down again and closed his eyes. "Back then I wasn't good at making a fake feeling go to my eyes too."

"What killed them?" Steve asked as he thought about the last sentence Tony had said. He could fake a feeling so well now that it even showed in his eyes?!

"Car crash," Tony said, a slightly bored tone to his voice. "A drunk driver hit them. He died on impact."

Steve didn't ask any more questions and Tony didn't say anything else.

About an hour later, the third meal of the day was delivered through a hatch on the door. Tony ignored it, like he had done with the previous two. Steve would have ignored it but his super metabolism meant that he needed to at least three times a day, especially considering the size and amount of nutrients in the meals they were getting.

"You should eat," he told Tony.

"I'm not hungry," Tony said. Steve knew he wasn't going to be able to get the stubborn genius to eat, so he didn't try again.

After he ate, he could tell it was getting pretty late from his internal clock, and decided to call it a night. He hoped that Tony would do the same.

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><p><strong>Well, that was kinda fun to write.<strong>

**If you have any opinions or suggestions feel free to leave them as a review!**

**That's about it. Thank you for reading!**

_**Ebil**_


	11. Chapter 11

**Well, it's been a while... I can't apologize enough and I don't even have any really sound reasons.**

**This chapter was extremely hard to write and I had to re-write it a lot of times before I was happy. It does have 500 words more than usual though so that's one good thing...**

**All you guys who take the time to leave a review or even just read this story are amazing!**

**This chapter is dedicated to my 100th reviewer!**

**_Superwholockianwriter175_ ****- I prefer to call her Agent Romanova although in some of my other stories she's Romanoff, it depends what mood I'm in when I start the story. :)**

**Anyway, this is for you!**

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><p>Tony looked at Steve as the man slept. He knew that he should follow suit, that he needed rest, but he couldn't bear the thought of the nightmares. His mind began to wander. There wasn't much he could do to keep himself occupied in a small cave that held memories he wanted to forget. He thought about a lot of things, he wasn't expecting to get out of the cave and not sure about what he'd face if he did, even less sure about whether he'd be able to take it on without his armor. Steve was right about one thing on the Helicarrier, without Iron Man, Tony is nothing.<p>

He also thought of Yinsen though. Of how he could have saved the man. Of how the man and his family wouldn't have been killed in the first place if it wasn't for him and his stupid weaponry. That was at least one thing Hammer had gotten right, it was Tony's firearms that killed Yinsen, along with thousands of other innocent people. It was something he was trying to make up for even though he knew that nothing he could do would ever make up for the deaths he had caused.

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><p>The other Avengers had returned to the tower as they were unsure of where to look next. Bruce, Natasha and Clint were in the lab. Thor had gone back to Asgard for some reason or another, Bruce didn't want to guess why with his limited knowledge of the realm. He was a little confused as to why the god had chosen the time when two of his team members were missing though.<p>

"Come on, there has to be some clue!" Clint's words brought Bruce out of his thoughts about Thor.

"Cool down Clint," Natasha said, "Bruce is working on it."

"He might work better if you two stop looking over his shoulder," Bruce interjected, the assassins looked at him and he looked up, "it makes me nervous."

"Okay, Bruce is right, us pressuring him isn't going to make him find the others any sooner," Natasha said, pulling Clint towards the elevator.

"Make sure you alert us the minute, no, the second, you find anything!"

"Of course," Bruce replied before going back to looking at the scene. He sighed. With Jarvis offline there wasn't much he could do and the only person who knew how to get the AI back online was missing.

Then it struck him, maybe Pepper knew how to get him back online. The doctor called her.

"_Bruce! Have you had any luck?"_

"Err, no," Bruce said, "I was wondering if you could help me..?"

"_I could try. What do you need help with?"_

"Did Tony ever tell you how to get Jarvis back online?"

"_No," _Pepper said. Bruce was quiet. "_But I do know where his core is if that's any help.."_

"It's at least a start."

"_I'll be right down," _Pepper said before hanging up.

Bruce sighed. He really hoped that rebooting Jarvis would be as easy as flicking a switch or pushing a button. It could take him a while to figure out how to get him online otherwise.

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><p>Tony sighed and tried to fight the boredom that the night brought. He began to hum quietly, not one of the usual rock songs he listened to in his lab but a softer tune. It helped to keep his mind off of dark thoughts and memories although it didn't help as much as he'd have liked it to.<p>

Tony looked up to a camera and cocked his head. Just what was Hammer doing and who was he doing it with? Whoever it was was good and dangerous. They knew far too much about him although they didn't seem to have told Hammer everything. That could have been because they themselves didn't know everything or it could have been that they didn't trust Hammer enough to tell him everything.

He sat in the darkness of the room, closing his eyes against the blue of the Arc. He was tired and wasn't sure how much longer he could hold off sleep. He didn't want to risk a nightmare but he would need all of his strength if they were to escape somehow.

Pepper opened up a complicated secret file in Tony's main computer that led to Jarvis' core before she left again. The core was complicated, the files within the first were named in binary and coding and opening a file lead to yet more binary and coding. Bruce had to admit that he had no idea what to do to get Jarvis back online and what would cause the AI to break even more.

On top of that it was rather late and he could see that he'd woken Pepper up. He sighed and decided he'd take another look in the morning but he needed to rest. He closed the main file and turned off the computer.

He returned to his floor where he went to sleep, worrying about his lost teammates. He could only hope that wherever they were they were okay.

Steve woke first. He glanced at Tony and was surprised to see that the man was sleeping. He hoped that Tony would get adequate rest although he suspected that the man would be having nightmares.

A few minutes later, Tony began to thrash. Steve wasn't sure what to do and that was when Hammer's voice filled the room.

"The great Anthony Stark has nightmares, who'd have known?" Steve knew that it wasn't a question. He was mad at Hammer. Why would the man want to emotionally bully Tony? It didn't make sense to him.

"Why are you doing this Hammer?!" He asked in the tone of voice he'd use when questioning any villain.

"I'd have thought that that would be obvious," Hammer said, "Mr. Stark over there ruined my life." Steve raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. He looked back over at Tony who was thrashing a lot more and wasn't sure if he should wake him or not. He wasn't sure how aggressive Tony would be if he was suddenly awoken from whatever nightmare he was having.

Steve looked around the room, searching for a weakness. Anything that he could use to somehow escape. There was nothing though. The dimly lit cave had nothing in it other than the bare light bulb that was hanging from the roof.

Tony suddenly woke and was hyperventilating. It took him a little while to realize that he wasn't in his nightmare and even longer to realize that he wasn't in Afghanistan. He buried his fear and panic under weak confidence.

"You're finally awake," Hammer said. Tony glared at a camera. "I wonder what else I heard was true about your time in Afghanistan."

Tony dreaded the implications of that sentence. "Who are you working with Hammer?"

"Why do you think I'm working with someone?" Hammer asked. He sounded slightly hurt.

"Maybe because you're too dumb to hack into Jarvis and there's no way that anyone as idiotic as you could know so much about Afghanistan. I mean, come on, even Rogers over here is better with technology than you."

Steve wasn't sure about how he felt about being used as an insult due to his limited knowledge of modern technology.

Hammer didn't say anything and Tony smiled softly at the small victory. "Don't think you've won Stark."

Tony's smirked. He was going to have some fun with Hammer, or try to at least. "Wasn't I always the winner here? I mean, I'm far more clever than you, not that that's saying much, and I'm also a billionaire."

"Who's trapped in who's cave here?" Hammer asked.

"I don't know, you tell me."

"What's that meant to mean?"

"Well, presumably you are in the vicinity or at least unable to do anything else while your watching us which kinda means that you're trapped too. Also, that's really creepy. You shouldn't watch people." When Hammer didn't respond Tony's smirk only grew.

"What was the point of that?" Steve asked.

"It's kinda fun to annoy him. He's a huge idiot but he thinks he's a genius. It resulted in him ruining my Expo the other year." Steve looked at him quizzically. "You didn't know about that?" Steve's face was still blank, "you really need to catch up Capsicle." Steve shrugged, he'd read Tony's file and there was nothing about Justin Hammer on it. Maybe Tony had deleted that part like he had with the majority of his file.

Steve wanted to ask what happened in Afghanistan all those years ago but he wouldn't. He didn't want to rush the genius and he wasn't even sure if he'd be able to handle the information himself. Instead he decided to ask about a name that had been on Howard's file. He hadn't seen the name on Tony's but considering , "Tony, who is Obadiah Stane?"

Tony's hands immediately went to his chest, as if to protect the Arc Reactor, "where did you hear that name?" He asked, slight panic in his voice.

"It was on your fath- Howard's file," Steve explained.

Tony sighed, he hadn't thought of going through Howard and Maria's files, mainly because he had doubted that anyone would read them. "Obie.. Stane was all I had for a long time. He was a friend, a mentor and a father to me."

"Then why do you never talk about him?"

Tony took a deep breath, "when I got back from Afghanistan I stopped weapon production. Stane didn't approve of that but it was my company so there wasn't much he could do about it. I built my Mark II Iron Man suit, then fixed some things with the Mark III and began to destroy all of the illegal Stark Industries weapons." Tony sighed, "Before this though I had replaced my Arc Reactor with a better one."

"What does this have to do with Stane?" Steve asked. Tony glared at him.

"I soon found out that it was Stane who had been illegally selling my weapons and not only that, Stane was the one who organised my capture, of course, he had wanted them just to kill me straight away but luckily for me, the Ten Rings were greedy and wanted me to make more weaponry. Anyway, Stane had made a crude copy of the Mark I but he needed a power source so he stole my Arc. I managed to get to my 'shop and put the old one in again." Tony wasn't looking at Steve but instead at the wall of the cave, "I killed him and then told the world that I was Iron Man," he turned back to Steve, "so I'm sorry if I never talk about the man who is responsible for trying to kill me on not one, but two occasions. Ironically though, I wouldn't have made the Iron Man suit if it wasn't for him."

Steve wasn't sure what to say to that but there was one thing he didn't really understand, "why is the Arc Reactor so important anyway?"

Tony sighed, he'd almost forgotten that Steve knew nothing about technology and that not many people knew about the Arc. "The Arc is essentially my heart," he said as he looked down at the metal, "it keeps me alive."

"How does it do that?"

"It powers an electromagnet that stops the shrapnel lodged in my chest from getting any closer to my actual heart."

"Why is there shrapnel in your chest?!"

"Because I was hit by a bomb that quite literally had my name on it," Tony laughed a little although there was no joy in it.

"So, you got hit by a blast of a SI bomb and now you have shrapnel in your chest that's only not killing you because of the Arc Reactor?" Steve asked, making sure he understood.

"Yep."

"How deep is it?"

"The Reactor or the shrapnel?"

Steve considered the question for a few minutes, "both."

"The Reactor stops somewhere between my lungs and the deepest bit of shrapnel is almost on my heart from what I can tell."

"Does it hurt?" Tony was surprised by the question, no one had asked him that for a long time and he hadn't been expecting Steve to care enough or even think to ask.

"I've gotten used to it."

"But does it still hurt?" Steve asked, real concern in his voice. Tony sighed.

"Do you think having a roughly three inch hole in your chest filled with a titanium cylinder pressed between your lungs to stop the shrapnel that is almost piercing your heart from going any deeper wouldn't hurt?"

"I suppose that that's a yes then."

"No shit Sherlock." Tony was feeling the titanium cylinder against his lungs and the shrapnel in his chest a lot more than he had done in a while due to thinking about them and was finding it difficult to breathe around it.

"Couldn't the doctors have taken all of the shrapnel out?"

Tony shut his eyes tightly and tried not to remember the pain of Yinsen's surgery. "He didn't have the technology to do that."

"Why not? Aren't you the smartest and richest man in America or something?"

"Something like that," Tony said, sighing, "but I wasn't in America at the time."

"Where were you?"

"Afghanistan."

At that the subject was dropped. Steve needed to take time to process what Tony had just told him and Tony needed a break, his breathing had become difficult but it was more the memories of Yinsen and the surgery that were hurting him.

* * *

><p>Thor returned while Bruce was trying to figure out how to work out Jarvis' files. Clint went down to the lab to tell Bruce who left with him as they went to the communal floor and joined the others.<p>

"Friend Bruce, I bring news of our comrades."

"Do you know where they are?" Bruce asked.

"Indeed I do!"

"How?" Natasha asked.

"I asked Heimdall if he could see them."

"So that's why you went to Asgard!"

"Where are they then?" Bruce asked.

"Here in New York."

"Can you be any more precise?"

"Come friends, follow me," Thor said before leaving the building via the balcony.

"You know," Clint called after him, "we don't all have magic hammers."

* * *

><p>The next time Tony spoke about his past it was almost inaudible and he was facing away from Steve. "After my parents died, it was just me. I was left with their fortune and company so I did what any teenager would do and became addicted to the more dangerous drugs and drank way too much, I was just generally having a fun time.<p>

"But then, when I was twenty one, I took over the company and had to make myself semi-respectable, which was hard. With Obie's help I came off the drugs although little changed with my drinking.

"I made Stark Industries great, we had weapons that were unparalleled to any other and they were just getting more powerful. The media gave me lots of titles including '_the merchant of death' _which was one I'd never taken seriously until…"

"Afghanistan." Steve whispered slowly. Tony nodded and gulped.

"I was demonstrating the Jericho Missile over there and that went pretty well. Then it all went to hell when we were going back to the plane. We got bombed, by my own bombs. The people- kids- I was with were all killed, as far as I know. One had even taken a picture with me.

"I did the most stupid thing I could have done then. I got out of the car. I hid behind a rock and began texting Stane but then one of my bombs landed close to me and blew up before I could get far enough away.

"The next thing I knew, I was in surgery having my chest opened," he stopped talking as he tried to fight off a flashback, "that hurt like a bitch."

"Hold on. The surgery was done while you were awake, with no painkillers!?"

Tony nodded, "then, I must have passed out or something because the next thing I knew, I was lying on a thin mattress in a cave with a car battery attached to my chest. Yinsen explained a few things and I then I was told by the leader, Raza, to make a Jericho missile."

"You refused?"

"Of course I refused!" Tony snapped, "and so they tortured me. Waterboarded me."

_Tony was suddenly there again, his head being dunked into the tank of water until he couldn't hold his breath any longer, began thrashing and had to inhale some of the water. His head was violently pulled out of the water, which splashed onto the wires of the car battery giving him painful burns. He was given no time to do anything other than take another breath before it happened again. The next time his head was pulled up, he saw the face of one of the men in the room, he was smirking and laughing at the torture. His face warped into a worried looking Steve but Tony only saw it for a second._

_The next time he was pulled up, he noticed that it was Steve's face and the lips were moving. He tried to concentrate on what he was saying and heard "It's not real Tony, you're not there." Tony tried to rationalize that and everything began to fade away._

But Tony was in a cave that looked like the one from Afghanistan. He put a hand on his chest protectively and scrambled to get as far away from Steve as he could.

Then there was suddenly a loud banging coming from outside. Tony brought his knees to his chest, bowed his head and covered his ears with his hands as a poor attempt to block out the sound.

The next thing he knew, there was a lot of shouting and he was being carried in large arms, arms far too big to be human. He opened his eyes to see the Hulk's thick green skin.

"Heya big green!" He said, Hulk looked down at him.

"Tony rest!" He ordered.

"Okay, big fella, okay," Tony said, laughing a little. Now that he thought about it he was extremely tired. All of those nights with no sleep seemed to be finally catching up to him. He didn't even have time to think about the others seeing him have a nightmare before he fell asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Just something to bear in mind, this chapter wasn't beta'd as I finished it about an hour ago and really wanted to release it today...<strong>

**Yep, I don't really have much to say about it other than that.**

**Please leave suggestions as reviews or PM me, they really help me get the chapters out quicker if I know people are reading it...**

**Thanks for reading and I shall see you all next time, if not before.**

**_Ebil_  
><strong>


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